


I'll return in time for the Revolution, My Heart

by cypheroftyr



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: AU, M/M, Magister!Dorian, Not DAI Trespasser Compliant, Warden!Bull
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypheroftyr/pseuds/cypheroftyr
Summary: A total AU pondering on what would happen if Fenris and Invictus were members of the Inquisition, post game and Trespasser compliant story. So spoilers if you have not yet played it. Unrelated to other works.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An edit and re-upload of "I'll return in time for the revolution, my love" after my co-author ghosted me (literally a couple years ago) and wanting to pick up where this left off.

The Inquisition was over, Corypheus defeated and things were still a chaotic mess but there wasn’t an old god looming over them every moment of the day. Meneris and Dorian had taken to the Inquisitor’s rooms once all had settled down with instructions to leave them be for at least three days besides meals.

Meneris was lounging across his bed, sweaty and pleased after a long bout of unhurried lovemaking. “It’s nice to take our time, Amatus.” 

“Always is,” Dorian replied with grin on his face, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Maybe you can use that rejuvenation trick on me after we have something to eat?” Meneris said with a lazy grin. He let his fingers trip over Dorian’s sweat soaked skin as they lay there.

‘Ah, there is the adventurous man I fell in love with,” Dorian sighed. 

“Well you did set the curtains on fire the last time you used it on me, and let me do as I wished. I love you too, Dorian.” Meneris rolled on top of him and took his mouth again.

“I’ll miss you when I return to Tevinter,” Dorian muttered against his lips. 

“I don’t want you to go without me, I fear for you, love,” Meneris said as he leaned over to bother Dorian’s neck. 

“I fear for me as well, to be honest. Tevinter is such a lovely place, and Minrathous the paste crown jewel. I don’t know what I’ll find when I get there, but I need to do it.” Dorian cupped the back of his lover’s neck.

“I know, but I’ll be cranky without my handsome Altus around to ride. Whatever shall I do with all my free time, love?” Meneris gave him a cheeky smile as he felt Dorian’s touch.

“Be a good boy and resist the temptation to find out if Bull is all the rumors say he is,” Dorian replied archly. 

“I’m just a tiny elf, you think I want to be split in half? You sound jealous, Dorian, come now I’ve only got eyes for you, amatus.” Meneris gave him a wink before he pressed more kisses to his lover's neck. “That just means you need to make the most of our time before you leave.”

“If I sound jealous it is because I am. he flirts with you, and while I don’t mind that, I know he hates me.” Dorian felt some of his frustration melt away at Meneris’ touch.

“Love, he does not hate you. I’m sure if he hated you he’d have tried to kill you by now. Besides, he’s Tal-Vashoth now, so I doubt he’s going to keep up the old fights.” Meneris reassured him. “he can flirt all he wants, I’m not going with him or anyone else unless we agree to it and we both participate.”

“Sweet talker,” Dorian murmured, turning his head to capture his lover's lips. 

**

A couple of days later Meneris saw his lover off at the gate, his expression fell as soon as the Inquisition’s caravan was out of sight. He was worried for what would happen to Dorian, but he couldn’t keep him in Skyhold either.

Dorian waved as they departed from Skyhold, his expression fell as soon as Meneris was out of sight. He fell quiet his carriage for a time, lost in thought as they made for Tevinter.

“He’ll be fine,” Blackwall told Meneris gruffly. “He knows his way in and out of that cesspool they call a country.” 

“I know, I know...still I worry for him even here. Some people aren’t kind to him even with all he’s done for the Inquisition.” Meneris replied. “What brings you out so early?”

“Didn’t want you to be alone after you saw him off,” Blackwall said with a shrug.

“That’s kind of you, want to go in and have coffee?” Meneris said as he finally turned away from the road.

“I’ll have my ale, you can have your coffee,” Blackwall said with a small laugh. 

“I’ll have ale after I’ve gotten something in me.” Meneris quipped as he smiled, thinking of just how much Dorian had shown him he’d be missed earlier that morning.

“Then whatever you’re having is on me.” Blackwall led the way back into Skyhold and to the tavern.

“A very large breakfast after an energetic mornin--” Meneris caught himself about to kiss and tell. “Just… breakfast, and something to keep my big mouth shut.” 

Blackwall’s eyebrows rose. He blinked and shook his head. “Food it is then.” 

“Come on, before I put my foot in it again.” he said. Meneris found a table near the back with coffee, bacon and potatoes set before him and an ale at the ready soon as his food was gone. 

“Have you been alright since we finally beat Corypheus? No one is on to you not being… you?” 

“No. I know that I can do some good, to keep atoning for things, but sometimes it might have been easier to let them all know.” Blackwall took a long drink of his ale. 

“Maybe, but it is what it is. I’d rather see you do good than suffer like a dog.” Meneris said before he dug into his breakfast.

“And I owe you far more than you can ever know for that.” Blackwall raised his tankard to Meneris.

“It was the right thing to do, and you’ve been better for it.” Meneris tapped his mug against Blackwall’s tankard with a grin. “Creator’s it’s going to be a long, cold fall without him here.”

“You’ll see him again soon enough I would wager. Plus he will be writing to you often. The man likes the sound of his own words too much not to.” Blackwall grinned to let Meneris know there was no malice.

“True enough, but it wasn’t letters I was thinking of.” Meneris admitted.

“I’m aware,” Blackwall said dryly. “I was part of the group that asked for you two to have thicker walls built in your room, remember?” 

“Yes, I do.” Meneris said wryly before he finished off his meal and went for the ale.

**  
Several months later the table at the dining hall was quiet and tense. Cassandra elbowed Cullen in the ribs and hissed in his ear. “Ask him for Maker’s sake! Meneris has been getting worse over the last week. If you don’t, I will, and Maker knows I don’t have the tact for it.” As one, their eyes turned to the elf and watched as he slowly picked at his food.

Meneris was miserable, he’d gotten another letter from Dorian if he could call it that. It was like reading something from a stranger than the man he’d fallen for. He finally pushed his plate away with a sigh and went for his wine.

“Inquisitor?” Cullen ventured after clearing his throat. “Are you doing well?” 

“No, I figure it’s obvious if you are asking.” Meneris said tiredly.

“What’s wrong? You know you can confide anything with us.” Cullen poured Meneris’ wine for him and waited. 

“It’s...Dorian seems to be changing. His ...his letters are cold, sterile now.” Meneris admitted.

“That does not sound like him,” Josephine said. “He is not what I would call a cold man, especially when it comes to you.” 

“No idea what’s changing but I don’t like it.” Meneris said before he took another long gulp of wine.

“Is he in trouble?” Cassandra asked, getting right to the point. “If he needs us…” 

“As if you care what happens to him, Seeker.” Meneris sniped before he rose. “I’ll be in my office if anyone needs me.” the Inquisitor rose with a shake of his head to Cullen to leave him be.

Cassandra frowned and slid her gaze over to Cullen. “We need to find out what’s going on with Dorian in Tevinter.” 

“I still have contacts there. I’ll send a message immediately and make some inquiries.” Josephine rose to her feet and hurried back to her study.

Meneris threw himself into his chair before he slapped the most recent letter from Dorian off his desk. He was worried the Venatori had gotten him somehow. 

The letter was as if they were barely acquaintances, something so devoid of emotion that if it hadn’t been for Dorian’s handwriting, the flowing script, Meneris wouldn’t have thought it was from his lover at all.

He was brooding for a long time until he finally realized someone was knocking. “Enter.” Meneris called out, irritated that anyone was bothering him.

“Inquisitor?” Cullen peered around the door he had opened, one hand still on the latch. “I know you asked me not to follow, but I was worried.” 

“I’ve probably lost him Cullen, this is not the man who left me aching and wanting that morning months ago. This is a stranger writing to me and signing Dorian’s name.” Meneris put his head down as he finally broke.

“If you think so, then we need to go and bring him back home,” Cullen said with conviction. “He’s one of us and he might be in trouble.” 

“We’ll get killed there, or I will. I’m an elf, and we took out their old god pretender. You really think we can go into Tevinter like it’s Ferelden or Kirkwall and be welcomed with open arms?” Meneris asked.

“No, but if we know the right people we can still get into the city. Josephine is writing contacts as we speak, Varric as well.” Cullen held out his hand for Meneris to take. “We’ll find him.” 

“Too bad Fenris isn’t around, he would know the best way to do this.” Meneris snarled.

“Varric is looking for Fenris right now. Between him and Josephine, they should have answers for us soon.” Cullen gripped Meneris’ hand and pulled him to his feet.

“What am I to do Cullen?” Meneris asked wearily.

“We find him. If something is wrong, we’ll know it soon enough. If not…” Cullen didn’t know what to tell Meneris. There was always a chance that Dorian had drifted away from Meneris since he had left Skyhold. It was easy to jump to the conclusion that something bad had happened to him, but what if it hadn’t?

“I’ll be in...I’ll be in the library...fuck no. I can’t see his chair, or sleep in our bed right now.” Meneris said as he put his hand to his face and tried not to crumble before his Commander and friend.

“Then come with me,” Cullen offered. “You shouldn’t be alone right now with your doubts and worries. Besides, stretching them thin by talking about and sharing the burden is the best way to lighten the weight. You didn’t leave me alone when I needed help, I won’t either.” 

“Al..alright. I’m sorry I’m so pathetic Cullen. I thought I could ...I thought he and I would be together with the fighting done, not this.” Meneris said as he followed Cullen through the Keep.

“For some men, the fighting is never done,” Cullen said sadly. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. We’ll find out what’s happening, I swear it.” 

“Very well, mind if we have a drink over a game of chess?” Meneris asked.

Cullen cracked his knuckles with glee. “I do have to get some of my own back after our last match when you trounced me.” 

**  
Fenris was glad that Invictus was leading their horses as he was too deep in thought about the plea from the Inquisitor to come as soon as they could.

“Love, you’re gathering wool again.” Vic called as they turned down the path that led to Skyhold’s bridge.

“Hmm? Oh sorry I was just wondering what has Meneris so worked up as to request us back to the Keep so soon.” Fenris replied.

“Who knows, but I owe him enough to find out. The man did save my life in the Fade.” Invictus and Fenris approached the long, stone bridge that lead to the gate of the keep.

“I just hope they stop acting like I’m some demon because of my markings. I’m no savior, that’s Meneris’ job.” Fenris said as he pulled his hood back and tugged his hair out of the way. He wore different armor than the last time they’d been there, a gift from the blacksmith for their help in saving the Wardens.

It was more Tevinter in style, but warmer than his old Spirit Hide, with small hints of being a member of the Inquisition along the boots and gauntlets. He stared up at the massive Keep, still kind of awestruck by it no matter how jaded he was.

Invictus smiled and urged Fenris forward with a nudge from his shoulder. “Come on. You can lust after their keep when we get inside.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s impressive.” Fenris said as he guided his horse behind Vic and into the stables. 

“Let’s just hope that they don’t want me to make any more Fade trips. I’m going to hop right on my horse and ride back out if that’s the case,” Invictus grumbled.

“I’ll be right behind you if that’s the case.” Fenris said as they dismounted and got their gear.

Together they made their way to inside the keep and the main hall. Invictus’ eyes widened slightly when he saw the changes to the place. “Wow… Being the Inquisitor pays off. They were still building when we were last here. Now there’s statues, and tapestries and…” He trailed off. “And a golden throne at the end. Now I’m regretting not throwing my lot in with them.” 

“Still time to do so, wandering around is getting boring and dangerous.” Fenris winced as he reached back to unstrap his scabbard. 

“We can’t go to Tevinter and we can’t go back to Kirkwall. That leaves a few other places we could make a home in, but they have their dangers as well.” Invictus used his staff like a walking stick, a habit he had gotten into in order to have it always at the ready. 

“May as well see if we can do that here, it’s not as if they are short on room.” Fenris added as he looked around for anyone he recognized, finally seeing Cullen. “Commander, we’ve gotten the Inquisitor’s summons.”

Cullen hurried over. “Hawke, Fenris.” He held out a hand for them to shake. “Good to see the two of you again. Thank you for coming.” 

“You’re welcome, care to fill us in or take us to the Inquisitor?” Fenris asked as he swapped his rucksack to his other shoulder.

“Let me show you to your room first and then I’ll take you to Meneris. Be careful with him. Dorian left a few months ago back to Minrathous. His father needed him and since then, his letters have gotten strange. I’ll tell you the rest of it when I take you to the Inquisitor.” Cullen held out his hand for one of their bags.

Fenris handed over his rucksack with a confused frown. He had made an uneasy friendship with the Altus but he knew the man was head over heels for Meneris. “Strange, strange how?”

“Meneris will be able to explain it better. He knows Dorian the best. According to him Pavus’ letters became more and more formal, and even a little bit cold. You’ve both met him, he is anything but formal with those he loves.” Cullen led them deeper into the keep towards their room.

“That is odd.” Fenris said as he glanced to Invictus before he entered their room.

“Those he loves…” Invictus repeated. They walked into the room and set their things down. “Months can be a long time for some people, especially a man like Dorian who does adore his flings.” He held up his hand when Cullen opened his mouth to object. “I’m just trying to offer another opinion.” 

“Just keep that to yourself when we see him. Give me a few minutes to wash this damn travel grim off and put on a clean tunic before we see Meneris.” Fenris unsnapped his jerkin and pulled off the filthy tunic with a sneer. “Travel dirt is the worst.”

“Bathe,” Cullen suggested. “There are bathing chambers just down the hall for your use. Do you two think you could find your way back to the main hall?”

“Yes, we’ll see you there in an hour?” Fenris asked.

“I’ll also make sure that Meneris is in condition to talk.” Cullen sighed. “Should have done that first.” The last was said in more of a mutter to himself and he left the room.

Fenris watched him leave then gathered his things, and left in the hope that Vic followed him. He had a feeling it was going to be a long meeting with the Inquisitor.

**  
Cullen, Josephine, and Varric waited in the main hall for Fenris and Hawke. Meneris hadn’t shown up yet, but Cullen had made sure he knew to be there.

Fenris was antsy, but at least he was clean and there was a promise of a hot meal after they assembled. He and Hawke entered the Hall and waited for Meneris to appear. 

“Hawke!” Varric said with a grin. He walked over to the mage with his hand out. “Glad you and Broody could make it.” 

“Happy to see you too Varric!” Vic said as he pulled the dwarf into a hug. “Don’t give me a fucking handshake like we’re not friends.

Fenris simply gave Varric a look for not using his name but it was a fond one. “Still with the nicknames, dwarf?”

“Curly and Ruffles over here have been anxiously waiting for you two, but I told them you’d come, and I was right.” Varric returned the hug and went over to Fenris, holding out his arms. 

Come on, Elf. You know you want to.” 

“Only if I want to be assaulted by that pelt you call chest hair.” Fenris groused before he knelt down and gave Varric a hug anyway. “You’re getting soft dwarf, last time I tried to hug you I nearly kissed Bianca.”

“Seen too much weird shit over the years. Realized that keeping my friends and letting them know they are one is more important.” Varric gave Fenris a slap on the back.

“Don’t get carried away Varric.” Fenris warned before he looked to Cullen. “Are we going to him or will the Inquisitor grace us with his presence?” he asked.

“He should be here soon,” Josephine said nervously. 

“Why are you nervous, ambassador? Is there cause for concern?” Vic asked.

“The Inquisitor has become unpredictable.” Varric shrugged. “Guy’s depressed. Can’t say I blame him.” 

Fenris didn’t turn when he heard Invictus’ murmuring behind him. “Watch yourself Vic.” he said under his breath. 

Invictus sighed. “Fine. But I won’t dance too long around what might be a simple answer.” 

They didn’t have to wait much longer for the Inquisitor to appear. Meneris entered with a scowl that softened a bit at the sight of Fenris and Invictus. “Thank you for coming so quickly.” 

Invictus gave him a small bow of his head. “You’re very much welcome.” They all took their seats around one of the tables.

“So, food first and then discussion or both at the same time?” Fenris asked as he filled his own wine glass.

“Both, I need something in me before I resume drinking.” Meneris replied as he filled his glass a bit too full. 

“How about you eat first, water and then wine,hmm?” Fenris countered.

“If I have too much wine now, I’ll fall asleep at the table,” Invictus yawned. “We’ve come a long way, why not tell us what is happening?” 

“You’re not my Keeper Fenris. If I want to get entirely falling down drunk, it’s my damned table in my bloody Keep!” Meneris snarled.

“Then when you can talk to us without being an ass, we’ll be in the rooms you provided in your bloody Keep, Meneris.” Fenris replied with a tilt of his glass towards the other elf.

“Wait,” Cullen said. “Meneris, why not tell them what’s been happening?” He reached over and gently slid the wine bottle away from the elf. 

“Commander, you are dangerously close to losing that hand.” Meneris said as he glared at Cullen before he turned to Fenris and Hawke. “Dorian, is...changing. His letters are like a stranger asking to curry my favor and not the man I loved...love. Something has happened in Minrathous.” 

“Something is always happening in Minrathous.” Invictus gave Meneris a pointed look. “How have they changed?” 

“We don’t know, his letters went from loving, sweet to cold as a Kirkwall winters gathering in the time he’s been gone. Either someone is reading his mail, the dregs of the Venatori have got him or...he’s, changed.” Meneris finished quietly.

“Or he’s changed,” Invictus repeated. “Some men do that when away from their lovers for too long.” There was sudden tension at the table and Invictus winced when Fenris kicked him none too gently. 

The elven fighter followed it with a glare before he turned to Meneris and nudged the wine back towards him. “So what is it you want us to do? I have ...some allies in Tevinter once more, and if there’s Venatori to be killed I will happily give my blade to the Inquisition.” 

“And I go where Fenris does,” Invictus added. 

Josephine took a sip of her own wine. “We need people to go into Minrathous and search for him, someone he might talk to. He will not speak with one of my agents, not openly. They tell me that Dorian Pavus seems to have returned to Minrathous and his old ways. He goes to parties, spends his father’s money. By all accounts, nothing is different. And yet…” 

“Something is wrong, that is not the man we met before. For him to have fled the old ways, stay with the Inquisition and rebuke his home...there is more to this than we can know. Ambassador, if you will make arrangements, we will head into Tevinter, and I will make sure my contacts know we are coming. Crow-Master Arainai will put us up at arrival.” Fenris grinned devilishly and had the nerve to wink at Josephine.

“You’ll go?” Meneris asked hopefully as he looked between them.

“We’ll go, and you’re coming with us,” Invictus said.

“What? What if he...I can’t just leave the Inquisition?” Meneris said in shock.

“You can, you will and you are.” Fenris said with a pointed look at Meneris. “Otherwise you will remain here and make everyone miserable 

“Too true,” Invictus chimed in. “So why not come with you, see Dorian, and if he’s gotten himself in any trouble, we can pull his Tevinter ass out of it.” 

“We can handle things while you’re gone,’ Varric assured him.

“Good, then it’s settled. You get sobered up, we get rested and we leave in a few days.” Fenris said.

“I’m coming as well,” Cullen said. “I’m not as I once was, but I can lend a hand if things get too messy with magic.” 

“As you wish, but that’s three warriors, one mage and no rogue. Unless Fenris has picked up some skills in our travels he’s neglected to tell me about.” Vic said.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” teased the other elf. 

“Zevran will be in Minrathous with you,” Josephine said. “Having a Crow by your side will be useful.” 

“You haven’t seen him try to pick a lock.” Fenris muttered under his breath before Vic elbowed him.

“Fine, I don’t care about the minutia just make it happen. I’ll be in my rooms until dinner is served.” Meneris said as he rose with his wine glass.

“Sit, you haven’t had anything to eat and you are already a crabby bastard. I know the signs and I will not travel with you like this.” Fenris said.

“Love… maybe not antagonize him?” Vic said

“No, you did this for me and I will do no less for him. I don’t give a damn about his title, you don’t see me throwing mine around do you?” Fenris replied.

Josephine’s eyes widened before her face fell in resignation. There were some moments where all the tact in the world wasn’t going to help.

“What is your title these days, hmm Fenris?” Meneris asked sharply.

“Huntmaster of the Inquisition. Rook of the Crows,” Invictus said a little too smugly.

Josephine cleared her throat. “I made him Huntmaster shortly after you returned from the Fade. You signed the decree and Fenris was more than willing to hunt down some of our more violent Venatori.” 

“When we get back, perhaps we can chat about reading things your advisors hand you?” Fenris said smugly. 

“Perhaps I can punch you in the mouth before we leave?” Meneris snapped.

“Inquisitor!” Cullen said in surprise. “I know you’re not in the best humor but picking fights with someone you summoned to help isn’t really wise. How about we go have a chat?” Cullen asked as he took the wine and bottle out of the elven hero’s reach.

“A chat sounds good. A nap sounds even better. Fenris?” Invictus held out his hand for his lover.

The elf gave a small shake of his head before he looked to Meneris. “Yes, and afterward I’ll see you out Ambassador so you have names of people to message about our arrival.” Fenris pressed his hand on the small of Vic’s back to urge him forward.

“I will look forward to it,” Josephine said. 

Invictus let Fenris lead him away, grumbling to himself. “Damn. He better not get us or himself killed while we’re in Minrathous.”

“We won’t love, we won’t. I didn’t want to make him more miserable by rubbing it in his face. Besides I’ll do more than hold your hand once we’re in our room.” Fenris said 

“You’ve been on a horse for days. Do you really want another ride so soon?” Invictus asked archly, pushing open the door to their room.

“Who said I’d be in the saddle?” Fenris quipped before he pulled Invictus down for a kiss. “Love you.”

Invictus grinned against Fenris’ lips. “Love you too.” 

**

Meneris sat at Cullen’s desk with a scowl that could have put the former templar to shame when he was in a lyrium low. “What now Cullen?”

“What now, Meneris?” Cullen shot back. “They are our best chance to navigate Minrathous and find out what’s happening to Pavus. Don’t antagonize them. I know you’re hurting. I know how easy it is to escape in a bottle or other things, but now is the time for action.” 

“Do you actually know how much I’m hurting Cullen? I’ve got nothing...my clan was destroyed because of what I became, I’m a symbol of a cult I don’t believe in and the man I love is...he’s either changed, been changed or he’s lost to me. I ...I just want him back or to know if he’s no longer with me.” Meneris covered his face and tried to calm himself. He was falling apart and he hated it.

“No, I don’t know how you are feeling. I do know how it feels to have your life spiral into a nightmare, one where you would do anything in order to escape it, even if just for a moment. But I also know that escaping it doesn’t mean it never happened or isn’t happening.” Cullen jabbed his finger against his desk. “Something is happening with Pavus. That’s real and that’s right now. Drinking and arguing with everyone won’t fix it. Going to Minrathous will. You weren’t easy on me when I was fighting my lyrium addiction. I won’t be easy on you.” 

“Why do any of you even care? So many hate him and would be glad to see him gone, and I’ve been a miserable bastard for weeks.” Meneris knew he was whining but he didn’t care.

“Because he is one of us, and has been from the beginning. Because you love him and believe in him, so that’s enough for me. I can’t speak for the others, only myself. You’re our Inquisitor, and my friend. If you believe he’s in trouble then we go and save him.” Cullen raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry Cull, I’m not dealing with this well at all.” Meneris said shakily. “I just wanted to have a quiet, happy life with Corypheus defeated. Not this.”

“That’s what any soldier wants when the war is over. We just have to make sure you get it.” Cullen smiled and held out his hand for Meneris to take.

Meneris took it and found himself pulled into a hug. He let himself just be held for a while, until he could face Cullen with dry eyes.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and sober before dinner and we can try again. They didn’t storm off, so that’s a point in everyone’s favor.” 

“I’m lucky I still have a heart, glad Fenris has mellowed out some.” Meneris said shakily. “Glad you’re my friend, even when I don’t deserve it.” 

“None of us are divine when you get down to it. It took me a long time to see that. You have the people around you have, and if you’re really lucky, they gave a damn about what happens to you. You and I are really lucky.” 

Cullen gestured to one corner of the room that was walled off with a divider. “I’ll fill the tub and you can relax in here for a while. I can also go to your chambers and fetch some clothes.” 

“Thank you, I mean it Cullen. If you see Cassandra, tell her I’d like to see her before we go. I owe her an apology as well.” Meneris said as he headed to the tub.

“Oh, I think Cassandra feels we all owe her several apologies,” Cullen said with a laugh.

“I was being specific, but you’re right.” Meneris said after he tugged his tunic off.

“I’ll be back with some clothes. Is there anything special you want me to bring?” Cullen asked. 

“No, thank you Cullen.” Meneris said as he slipped into the tub with a groan. Thankfully the water was warm and soothing. He was so relaxed by the time Cullen returned, he was half-asleep.

“Meneris,” Cullen said gently. “I’ve put your clothes on one of the chairs.” He held out a drying cloth for the elf, his eyes averted.

“Hmm?” Meneris sat up and took the cloth with a huff. “Come on Cullen, surely nudity isn’t a new thing for you. You were a templar, and shared barracks.” He wrapped the drying cloth around his hips and took a seat.

“Maybe not, but I also didn’t look then if I could help it. When you have a cramped barracks you learn to look away and not stare. It’s politeness more than anything else.” Cullen grinned and sat down behind his desk.

“Pfaugh, we have no such thing among the People.” Meneris said as he started to dress. “A bath did help, though I must be more tired than I thought. Thank you for looking out for me.” 

“You’re welcome.” He nudged over a plate of soft bread with cheese and meat. 

Meneris dug in, quiet until he’d cleaned the plate off. He sat back and gave a wry smile when Cullen handed him water instead of wine. 

“No escape,” Cullen said with a small laugh.

“Not with you around.” Meneris gave him a smile before he downed his water. “Come on, let’s see Josephine to make arrangements for when I am gone.”

“And to have another talk with Fenris and Hawke.” Cullen gathered the plate while Meneris got dressed and together they walked back to the main hall.

“Must I?” Meneris asked quietly. 

“They came here to help, so yes. Hawke and Fenris aren’t that bad, and this is coming from me, who used to resent their interference, especially when I was in Kirkwall.” Cullen handed the plate to a passing servant when they entered the hall. It was a bit more crowded with the evening meal coming up.

“Creators, I’m going to eat a lot of crow in addition to ram stew aren’t I?” Meneris said as they headed for the large table at the front of the hall, with Varric, Fenris and Hawke already acting as if they hadn’t been separated for years.

“So then I said to Aveline ‘He’s not dead, he’s just sleeping’!” Varric cried.

The three men started laughing, Hawke wiping away tears from his eyes. “Maker. I had forgotten about that. She was so mad at us.” His smile fell away when he saw Meneris approach.

“Hello Hawke, Fenris, Varric. Mind if I join you?” Meneris said with the good grace to be embarrassed by his earlier outburst.

“It’s your Keep, so do as you will Inquisitor.” Fenris said. 

Invictus sighed and scooted his finely carved chair over to make room for the two men.

“I deserved that, apologies if you will have them.” Meneris offered as he sat next to Vic and Cullen sat on the other side of Fenris.

“Accepted,” Invictus replied, but only after some hesitation.

“Accepted as well, and we will have plenty of time to talk on the way to Minrathous.” Fenris added.

“Thank you both, I am not myself with all this going on. I’m glad you’re here, really.” Meneris replied.

“Now that we’re all friends again, how about we make some plans?” Cullen asked when he reached for some of the roasted meat in front of him.

“Ever the tactician, I think I like you after all Curly.” Fenris said with a mischievous grin. 

“Not you too, it's bad enough Varric gives us all nicknames. You don’t need to do it too!” Vic said with a grumble.

“You should see him get drunk and play strip poker,” Varric said with a laugh. “Your nickname for him might have had a little something more for reference.” 

Cullen groaned and buried his face in his hands. 

Fenris snorted before he caught himself. “Well, well well. Guess we don’t know you as well we thought Commander.” 

Cullen rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Make it stop,” he moaned.

“With that ass of yours, it won’t ever stop,” Varric teased. 

“I guess running around all those stairs in Kirkwall did you good huh Cullen?” Vic said before he busted up laughing at the poor Commander’s expression.

“That explains how he has such a good physique, I was wondering.” Meneris chimed in.

“This will never end,” Cullen moaned. 

“Years of hard physical training and one has to wonder what’s under all those clothes you layer yourself in,” Invictus quipped. 

“May we please get back to the plans?” Cullen all but whined. 

“Fine, let’s get to it so Cullen can stop imitating a Ferelden radish.” Fenris said as he cleared room for the notebook he carried with him. He gave Varric a quizzical look to match the dwarfs at the sight of it. “What?”

“Someone has become organized. Since when do you keep a notebook with you?” Varric asked. 

“I have my reasons, Varric.” Fenris said as he flipped to a blank page and ignored the looks others were giving him.

“So,” Cullen said awkwardly. “What do we know about why Dorian is in Minrathous?” 

“He was summoned by his father, and he waffled on it for a while. They’d reconciled so Dorian thought he had been accepted. I worry that Halward has succeeded in using blood magic on him.” Meneris admitted.

“On his son? But why?” Vic asked.

“Because Tevinter,” Varric shrugged. “But I would like to know too. Why go back to a man who would do something like that?” 

“There are things about Dorian I will keep in confidence but … know that at one time he tried to change him via blood magic. You can ask him the rest, if we find him.” Meneris hedged as he looked to Cullen before he looked at the table once more.

“Change him how?” Invictus asked. “Look, we want to help you, but you can’t hold out on us now. We need to know what we’re walking into. If blood magic is involved…” 

Meneris answered in Tevene to keep it as private as possible. _”He wanted to make Dorian ...not like men._ ”

Invictus’ eyebrows rose sharply. He snarled something nasty about Dorian’s father in Tevene. “Fine.. Then there is a legitimate concern here.” 

Varric glanced from one man to another and sighed. “I’ve gotta learn Tevene,” he grumbled. “But I just don’t really care to.” 

“That’s pretty despicable. So now we add him to the list of possible reasons Dorian has changed.” Fenris said as he jotted a note down. 

Varric twisted his head to look at the notebook. “Your handwriting is better than mine now!”

Fenris didn’t flinch at Varric’s closeness or his exclamation. For all his progress, he still was ...odd about writing and reading, especially in front of others. “Thank you.” he mumbled.

“I should hire you to take all my notes from now on,” Varric said with a laugh. 

“Back to the matter at hand,” Cullen said firmly. “So there is a strong chance of blood magic?” C

Meneris nodded sharply. 

“Then we’ll have to be careful entering the city and how we approach him.” Cullen tapped his finger in the table in thought. 

“Yes, when we have breakfast we can make a solid plan for that. Between us, we should be able to deal with it. If need be, we abduct him and get him from under the maleficar’s influence.” Vic said.

“When do we leave Inquisitor?” Cullen asked. 

“Two days, be ready. If you all will excuse me, I need to make plans for our absence.” Meneris left for his rooms, eager to be alone while he could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're close to Minrathous, Meneris will find out the truth soon enough, but will it be what he wants to hear?

They were a day from Minrathous and they could make out the great city and it’s high walls in the distance. They had elected to stay off of the Grand Road that led into the city, choosing to parallel it instead. Invictus had sent a raven with a coded message to Zevran, and they were to meet the elf at a prearranged spot that night so he could led them into the city.

Fenris was tired of being on horseback, but he was more concerned with what they might find. They’d instructed Varric to write back to Dorian as if he were Meneris, and to see if there was something missing in the Altus’ letters. He called a halt at a small cave a few hours out from the city. “This will be good, and it won’t take long for Zevran to reach us so we can leave once it’s dark.”

Cullen was used to long marches from his time as a templar and then as commander of the Inquisition army. He slid off his horse, his movements smooth, as if he hadn’t been riding for days with little rest.

Invictus groaned when his boots hit the ground. “Maker… What I wouldn’t give for a real bed right now.” 

“Soon love, soon.” Fenris said as he stretched his back with a groan. “If you’d be so kind as to set some water boiling, I’ll see what we can hunt down around here.”

Meneris set his sleeping roll down and fell over face first. He was exhausted and even more cranky than when they’d set out.

Cullen busied himself with setting up camp for the night. The others let him do it for several reasons--he was good at it and he always tried to correct them when they didn’t do it efficiently.

The air shifted next to Meneris and Invictus unrolled his bedroll, sitting down next to the elf. “How are you holding up?” 

The elf rolled over and stared at the cave ceiling. “I’m not, I’m terrified of what we’ll find in there.” Meneris admitted. 

“As you should be,” Invictus said bluntly. “Minrathous is a cesspool with a marble veneer. He was a fool to go back.” 

“True enough but ...considering my past, I’m here aren’t I?” Fenris chided him gently as he stepped past them to get his weapon. “There’s rabbits nearby, if I can catch a couple we can have a hot meal instead of more field rations.”

“I’ll take up a watch,” Cullen said. He got out his sword and whetstone and went to the entrance of the cave.

“Meneris start a pit for fire, Vic, put up wards. I’ll be back soon.” Fenris headed off towards his prey, uneasy to leave them so close to the city.

“Has he always been that bossy?” Meneris asked as he reluctantly got to his feet.

“It’s why I love him,” Invictus said with a wicked grin. He got up to do as Fenris had asked. 

Meneris set about making a fire pit and was quiet, the sound of Cullen’s whetstone on his blade was almost calming as he listened. Enough to where he was nearly dropping off by the time Fenris returned.

Cullen took over the rabbits, dressing them to cook over the fire. It wasn’t long before the scent of fresh, roasting meat filled the air, sending their stomachs to rumbling.

“Vic, make some tea please I’ll check for Zevran, since he’s got signals to use with me you won’t recognize.” Fenris went to the entrance to scan for any signs of the Crow Master as he wished the rabbits would be done soon.

“What does he mean by ‘You won’t recognize’?” Invictus grumbled. He filled the pot with water with a wave of his hand.

Cullen paused in sharpening his sword to glance over at the elf standing nearby, scanning the trees. “He’ll be here. I’ve never known him not to be there when trouble is about.” 

“I mean there’s Crow signals you are not versed in, that is all Vic. Don’t be that way.” Fenris called back. 

There was a slight chirping noise from the tree, one just barely different from the other night sounds. 

Fenris returned the call and waited for the Crow Master to show himself, but kept his weapon ready just in case.

Zevran stepped out from the trees. He was wrapped tightly in a black cloak, and he lowered his hood so that Fenris could see him. “Now, now… You are a sight for these sore eyes.” His blond hair was pulled back and braided tightly down the back of his head, revealing the wicked grin on his lips. 

“As are you.” Fenris gave him a bow before he was pulled into Zevran’s arms for a proper greeting.

Zevran pressed lingering kisses to both of Fenris’ cheeks. His eyes slipped behind Fenris to where Cullen had risen to his feet, his sword still in his hand. 

“And you brought me more eye-candy! You always do bring the best presents, Fenris.” 

“I try, perhaps you could relieve the commander of the stick that seems to be wedged up his ass.” Fenris muttered in Antivan.

Zevran’s gaze roamed over the scowling, former templar. “If only, yes?” he muttered back.

“Travel has been tense, especially with the Inquisitor in such a foul mood.” Fenris said as they entered the cave.

“Then let us see if we can cheer him up? I have yet to meet the man in person, for all that we have communicated through missives, yes?” 

Cullen had moved a little bit back into the cave, but not enough that he couldn’t still keep a look out. 

Invictus got to his feet and hurried over to Zevran, wrapping his arms around the elf in a large embrace. 

“Zev!” he cried. “We’ve missed you!” 

Zevran gave a breathless laugh. “Enough to crush me to death?” 

“Maybe?” Vic laughed as he set the elf down. “It’s good to see you.”

“You look handsome as always,” Zevran replied. 

“Is it second nature for you to flirt with everyone?” Cullen called out. 

“Second nature? it is my only nature,” Zevran shot back. 

“That’s true, you knew that when you met him in Ferelden.” Fenris called out.

“While you are busy making the Commander uncomfortable, perhaps Fenris or Invictus can introduce us?” Meneris said as he approached.

“Meneris,” Invictus said stepping back. “This is Zevran Arainai. He’s come to lead us into the city.” 

Zevran gave Meneris a low bow. “Inquisitor.” 

“Master of the Crows, a pleasure to meet you in person.” Meneris bowed deeply to him as well.

“Call me Zevran. Or Zev as most of my friends do, yes?” He held out his hand for Meneris to take. 

“As you wish, Zevran.” Meneris shook his hand and let the other elf in to join them for dinner.

Zevran raised an eyebrow at Invictus and the mage shook his head, urging him to the campfire.

“Did you have a good journey?” Zevran asked when he sat down.

“As well as it could be, for our purpose in coming to Tevinter. I trust your travel was fine as well?” Meneris asked.

“I was already in Minrathous keeping an eye on things when Invictus’ raven found me.” Zevran reached out and sliced off a piece of the roasting rabbit. “So it was good timing on all of our parts, yes?” 

“I hope so. Did they fill you in on why we’re here?” Meneris asked. 

Fenris had relieved Cullen of watch so he could get a hot meal before they set off for their lodgings.

“We did,” Invictus answered. 

“Dorian Pavus…” Zevran mused, popping the slice of meat into his mouth. “He’s been an extremely good boy lately. Why all of Minrathous is abuzz with his change since he returned from the Inquisition. He goes with his father to Senate meetings, and when he goes to balls he is amusing and witty.”

“So...it may be as Invictus said after all.” Meneris let his voice fall as he covered his face. “Creators, what if I dragged us all here for nothing?”

“We will find out, yes?” Zevran consoled. “Do not lose hope yet.” 

“We don’t know anything yet, we’ll find out more when we get into the city and visit with people. Hopefully no one was alerted to your visit?” Hawke asked.

Zevran gave him a look. ‘Please. You know who you are speaking to, yes?” 

“I know, but you remind us all the time to be cautious.” Vic replied.

“That is you two, yes? Me, I am always cautious. Relaxing too much means death.” Zevran shrugged. 

“So you have found nothing else other than Dorian has been resuming the life of an Altus?” Cullen asked between bites of rabbit. 

“I did not say that, yes?” Zevran answered. 

“Fine, fine. Let’s get dinner over with so we can strike camp and be on our way. Being this close to Minrathous and in the open makes me nervous.” Fenris said.

“What did you find?” Invictus asked. 

“That the Venatori had been running scared for months and now suddenly… they are not. It is why I came here, after all? Very curious that they suddenly grow bold again.” 

“Well that’s bothersome…” Vic said as he filled a camp plate and passed it on until everyone had a helping.

“Very much so. You are lucky you have brought a very handsome templar with you. This could get messy, no?” Zevran winked at Cullen.

“Incredibly lucky I’d say.” Vic agreed.

“Why do I feel like a piece of meat all of a sudden?” Cullen asked dryly. 

Zevran bit his lower lip. “Prime grade,” he replied. 

“Surely the Commander ranks higher than that? Those kissable lips and pretty brown eyes?” Vic teased.

Cullen rolled those pretty brown eyes. “Why did I think coming was a good idea?” 

“Coming is always a good idea,” Zevran quipped. 

“If you do manage that with the Commander, I’ll owe Vic fifty sovereigns.” Fenris called out.

“You bet against me?” Zevran said in affront. “Challenge accepted.

“Wait! No!” Cullen exclaimed. “No one is seducing anyone.” 

“Oh you haven’t spent time with him yet Cullen. It’s an act of beauty.” Vic said.

“Not interested in men,” Cullen grumbled. 

Zevran’s lips twitched in amusement. “As you say, commander.” 

“Leave off, we need to get going soon.” Fenris said as he came back in to scrape his plate over the fire.

“I have a way into the city, but we need to plan on if we are going to try and get to Pavus right away. It would be best if we could get him alone and without his family or guards.” Zevran finished off his portion of the rabbit.

“The sooner we can find out the truth the better, for us and my nerves.” Meneris said as he rose to scrape his leavings.

“We leave the safe house, I’ll take you to when night falls,” Zevran said. 

“More riding…” Invictus grumbled. “Yay…” 

“You didn’t complain about that ride before we left Skyhold.” Fenris said as he passed by to get his rucksack.

“Ha, ha ha. Such a comedian you’ve turned into.” Vic quipped as he gathered his things.

“Weeks I’ve spent with this,” Cullen sighed. 

“You’ll survive and at least someone is paying you compliments so enjoy it.” Meneris griped as he pulled his bag over his head and strapped his sword on.

“True,” Cullen mused. “Compliments are nice.” 

“Let’s get some rest when we get to the safe house,” Invictus said. “We’ll have to leave soon enough and depending on how things go in Minrathous, we might not get more rest for some time.” 

“More than fair, let’s get going.” Fenris said as he let Zevran lead them on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get Dorian back, but at what cost?

Zevran took them a little bit closer to the city to a small safe house he has stashed away. It was a single room cabin, which meant they all had to sleep on the floor cramped together, but at least it wasn’t cold stone and dirt.

Once they got a fire going in the fireplace, they settled down for a short rest and waited for night to fall.

Fenris had stretched out next to Invictus and dropped into a light doze, while Cullen took a watch after Meneris relieved him.

He was shaken awake what seemed like moments later. “Fen,” Invictus whispered. “Time to get up. It’s dark.” 

“I hate traveling like this, there better be a bed somewhere for us tonight.” Fenris grumbled.

“Agreed, living in Skyhold has made me soft.” Meneris groused

“I think I’ve become soft as well.” Cullen was already in his feet and had as of yet removed his armor even once during the journey, at least not that they had seen.

“I’m sure there isn’t a soft bone on your body, commander,” Invictus said.

“I’m stuck traveling with comedians, the lot of you.” Cullen replied.

“And you love us for it,” Invictus shot back with a grin. They finished packing up their things and went outside. They were going to leave their horses behind and Zevran had assured them that an associate of his would come by and sneak them into the city separately. 

“So where are we headed?” Fenris asked quietly as he trailed behind Zevran and ahead of Invictus.

“Through one of the smaller gates into the city. I know a merchant who owes me a favor or ten. We’re going to go right into the city in his cart,” Zevran answered. 

“Reminds me of my old days smuggling in Kirkwall.” Vic said as they went on, Cullen and Meneris were quiet as they traveled until they reached a gate not much taller than Zevran but luckily wide enough to accommodate the humans in their group.

They slipped inside and moved through forgotten passages in the thick wall to reach the gate that most of the merchants used to bring goods in and out of the city. Zevran didn’t hesitate. He walked right up to one of the carts and took a seat next to the driver. He gestured behind him and the others sat in the back among the sacks of grain.

“We get to go cargo class I see.” Vic muttered as they slipped in and got comfortable for the ride.

“Better than going in chains,” Cullen whispered. He had pulled the hood of his cloak up to obscure his features. 

It took a long while for them to even get close to the gate, the cart was just one of hundreds that moved slowly through. But when they did, they were waved right in.

“Not very secure,” Invictus noted when they had rolled into the city. 

“Oh, it is very secure, unless you are influential and know to bribe the gate guards to get your goods in quickly,” Zevran told them.

“It’s the way of the Imperium Hawke.” Fenris said quietly.

The cart stopped several streets away from the gate and Zevran gave the driver a small nod before he hopped down, gesturing for the others to follow. 

They fell in line like ducklings, unsure where Zevran was leading them but trusting in the Crow’s plan. Which even though Zevran’s plans usually went off, their execution left much to be desired. 

“Maker, no,” Cullen groaned when they came up to the safehouse.

Invictus grinned wide. “Oh, yes…” He eagerly followed Zevran into the brothel.

“Well you can find some lass that appeals to you if Zevran can’t get you loosened up.” Fenris said as he grinned at Hawke.

“I was better off at Skyhold,” Cullen muttered to himself, follow them inside. 

The place didn’t look like the brothels that Cullen had been in before. Not that he had used their services or anything. No, he had usually gone inside them to drag templars out for one reason or another. There was no gold and crimson drapes, no inward sign that was where they were at other than the red door they had walked through. 

“Understated, not obvious we can tell we’re in the Imperium.” Fenris murmured as he noted how many men and women sized him up and quickly looked away at his return glare. He’d finally accepted that he was attractive, and with that confidence had come a lot of unreturned advances.

“Please don’t cut anyone’s hand off this time love, let me handle it.” Vic said quietly in Tevene as they followed behind Zevran.

By the time they reached the back of the brothel, Cullen’s face was a bright red, his eyes locked on the floor. Zevran showed them to a large common room with doors leading off to several small bed chambers. 

“Here we are, yes?” Zevran said as he flopped down on a couch. “I own this place, but not on paper, yes?”

“Oh nice, I was wondering what else you were up to here.” Fenris said as he stretched out on one of the longer couches and gave an indecent moan at how good it felt to lie on something soft again.

“I’m going to put my things away and finally get out of this armor,” Cullen said. He turned to the first door and opened it. 

“That’s my room,” Zevran called in a singsong. 

Cullen came rushing out and slammed the door behind him. “What… what was that…”

 

Zevran only gave him a wicked grin in reply. 

“Oh use his room Cullen, I’m sure Zevran would love to help you out of that armor.” Vic waggled his eyebrows at the former templar before he had to dodge a pillow.

“What about you, Hawke?” Cullen asked. “Maybe you should be the one to help me.”

Zevran’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s not fair.” 

“Oh it would be my pleasure, Commander,” Vic purred.

“Just don’t wear him out too badly, we have things to do soon,” Fenris murmured as Zevran slipped next to him and rested the other elf’s head on his thigh.

“No one is wearing anyone out!” Cullen called before they disappeared into another room.

“You are no fun, Cullen!” Hawke said before he was shoved against a wall and told to knock it off.

“Listen, I know none of you respect me, but at least stop playing around,” Cullen began.

Hawke made a face at him and pushed Cullen away. “I do respect you, otherwise I wouldn’t travel with you. Besides, I’m not playing.” 

“Yes you are,” Cullen said. “All of you are. But we have a mission to do, and that is what we have to focus on.” He stepped back and started to undo some of the buckles on his armor.

“Fine, then get out your own damned armor, I’m sure you’re used to it at Skyhold. I won’t be spoken to like that.” Hawke snapped.

Cullen paused, one of his gauntlets off and in his hand. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long journey and I’m not thinking clearly.” 

“Whatever, do you want my help or not?” Invictus asked.

“Please,” Cullen said. “And I am truly sorry. I’m too used to people stepping in line and being the commander that I’ve forgotten what it was like to work without a defined leader in a group.”

“Very well,” Vic said as he helped the other man out of his armor quickly and efficiently. “Anything else?” 

“You and I… We’ve never spoken about what happened in Kirkwall.” Cullen stood in his armor padding and breeches.

“What is there to say?” Vic asked as he folded his arms and stared at the former templar.

“That I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me that Meredith was losing it. That haunts me. If only I had listened to Hawke, maybe I could have prevented… maybe I could have prevented all those deaths. You did what I couldn’t do, what I wasn’t willing to do.” Cullen grabbed the bottom of his armor padding and yanked it over his head in frustration.

“What’s past is past and nothing to be done about it now. I assure you Commander, should I have further advice, I’ll do my best to get you to listen. If you no longer need me, I’ll see to getting myself a room and a much needed nap.” Vic said.

“Wait.” Cullen was clad in only his tunic and breeches now. “I hurt you… Didn’t I?” 

“You’re sharper than people give you credit for, yes you did.” Vic replied.

“I’m sorry again. What did I do?” Cullen asked, taking a step towards him.

“Assumed I was just having you on and that I don’t respect you. We tease because we like you and you are an attractive man. I won’t make that mistake again, we can leave this as professional’s since you clearly don’t like the teasing.” Vic glared at Cullen as he tried to keep his composure.

“I joined the Order when I was young. Not as young as most, but I was still young. It was my life and I gave everything to it. There wasn’t any time to… Well, not for certain games that people learn how to play when they are younger.” Cullen shrugged. “I’m not very good at picking up certain signals, even when I’m slammed in the face with them. My first reaction is always that it’s a joke, or I miss it completely. I’m sorry once again.” 

“As you wish, apology accepted. Now if you don’t mind I am actually tired Cullen.” Vic replied.

Cullen sighed. He knew he had messed up and only time would fix it. “Apologies for keeping you then. Thank you for helping me with my armor.” 

“You’re welcome, I’ll see you whenever we convene for our next meal.” Vic gave him a slight bow and headed back out.

Cullen stripped off his tunic and his fingers went to the laces of his breeches. “Damn…” he muttered to himself. “Well done, Cullen.” 

Fenris looked up when Invictus passed by them without stopping and straight into the first open door he saw. He glanced at Zevran but winced when the door shut. “Leave him be when he’s in that mood, but I will check on him later.”

Meneris had sunk down on a couch and was staring at the floor dejectedly. He didn’t want to give them a hard time but it was difficult seeing everyone so happy, for the most part.

“I have an informant that is coming by later on this evening to give us Pavus’ schedule,” Zevran said, drawing Meneris’ attention. “We’ll find a moment when he will be alone and approach him then.” 

“Alright, should I be with you or will you bring him here?” Meneris asked.

“It depends on what my informant tells us. I would like to avoid bringing him here. He might…” Zevran trailed off. “I would like to keep this place secret as long as possible.” 

“Besides if this is our safe space, we do not need to trail them back here. We go to him, and perhaps keep you hidden somewhere we can bring him to.” Fenris offered

“Exactly,” Zevran said in agreement. 

The door to Cullen’s room clicked open and he came out in bare feet and a clean pair of breeches and tunic. His hair was damp from where he had cleaned up quickly with the washbasin. 

Fenris sat up and glanced at the other warrior. “Feeling better?” he asked as he rose to pull off his armor as well.

“Feeling more human at least. I… hurt Invictus.” Cullen wouldn’t meet Fenris’ eyes, but he wanted him to know and not keep secrets. Keeping secrets had always ended poorly for him.

“That explains why he didn’t stop earlier, what happened?” Fenris asked as he started to work on his vambraces.

“I… I made some wrong assumptions about certain motives and how I am perceived by all of you. It was my fault entirely.” Cullen fidgeted slightly. 

“Did you two resolve it?” asked Fenris as he paused with one vambrace partially undone.

“I apologized several times and he said he accepted it, but he didn’t accept it if that makes any sense.” Cullen sat down next to Meneris.

“It’s Invictus, it makes sense to me. He is wounded and will be stand offish for a while. Either he’ll thaw towards you or not but one word of advice. Leave him be until he speaks of it. I know too well what it’s like to push him on something.” Fenris took a moment to stretch his back with a low groan. “Apologies, I’m not as spry as I used to be and I needed that.”

“Why do you think I kept my armor on for much of the journey?” Cullen asked. “I was growing soft and needed the weight of it on me.” 

“That sounds masochistic,” Zevran observed. 

“Maybe… But if I’m going to be needed here killing Venatori, then I had to do it.” Cullen sighed and scrubbed at his face with his hands. 

“Makes sense, in a way. I’m going to find a tub and see if I can coax Vic into heating it for me. Zevran will food be brought soon?” Fenris asked.

“As soon as I give the word.” Zevran got to his feet and slipped out into the hall.

Fenris gave Cullen a respectful nod before he called out to Vic once he realized all the doors looked the same to him. “Invictus?”

“Here,” came a muffled reply from one of the doors.

Fenris went in and sat with his lover. “You ok?”

“Don’t like my own motives and emotions being put into question,” Hawke grumbled. He sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I figured that, are you alright though? Do you want to hide out in here?” Fenris asked as he offered his hand to Vic.

“No. I want to shake some sense into the commander. I’m in here so I don’t give into temptation.” Invictus took Fenris’ hand and placed a kiss to the back of it. 

“Do you mind having a bath with me then? He’s contrite, and will likely scurry off when he sees you anyway.” Fenris squeezed the other man’s fingers between his gently.

“I could use a bath. I haven’t felt human in weeks and river bathing isn’t the same.” Hawke got to his feet and pulled lightly on Fenris’ hand. 

“Good, the bathing chamber is across from us, afterward I’ll bring my armor in and we can eat. I’m starved for a hot meal.” Fenris leaned up and kissed Invictus slow and easy. “Will you be alright? I know you get low when things like this happen.”

“He’s an oblivious ass,” Hawke replied. “But I’ll get over it.” 

“Good, we’ll be under enough pressure here. I know I’ve made peace with this place and I have rank with both the Crows and the Inquisition but I still feel ill at ease whenever we return.” Fenris pulled Vic behind him back to the foyer.

Cullen glanced up when they entered and straightened on the couch. “Hawke, I…” 

“Not now, Cullen,” Hawke sighed. “Let me get cleaned up and some food in me first.” 

“As you wish.” Cullen looked away and let them pass.

By the time they returned from the bathing chamber, the food had appeared and the others were already eating.

But that wasn’t all that had arrived. 

“Missive from my informant,” Zevran said, waving the parchment. 

Meneris paused and looked to the other elf hopefully. “And?” 

“And we will have a chance at him tomorrow evening. He’s going to a ball and we’re going to be there to meet him.” Zevran arched an eyebrow. “That is, if we can get inside.” 

“I’m sure you can manage that Crow Master Arainai. Or I can use some of my contacts.” Fenris said.

“We either need to go in as servants or as guests. Since some of us are elves, I would suggest we do both.” Zevran plucked a grape from his plate and popped it in his mouth. 

“I am not going in as a servant.” Fenris said and looked at Zevran as if he dared him to argue.

“Will you go in as one of the guests then?” Zevran asked. “I know how you feel on this, yes? But this is Minrathous.” 

“I did not free myself to walk back in and simper at the heels of magisters.” Fenris snarled.

“Gentlemen, easy. I would dare say we have a bigger issue disguising me as either a servant or making sure he doesn’t flee if I am announced as a guest.” Meneris interjected.

“We have some of us in the kitchen and we will stay there,” Zevran offered. “No serving. Invictus and Cullen can find Pavus and bring him to us.” 

Fenris glowered as he drank his wine, he didn’t keep up the argument but he would have words for Zevran later. He was a free man, and he’d be damned if he had to cower in a kitchen again.

“We need to get invitations and to make sure that the rest of us can get into the kitchen,” Zevran pushed on. “I can take care of some of that. Fenris, can you get us in as servants?” He knew that his question wouldn’t be taken well, but it couldn’t be helped.

The other elf’s eyes narrowed but he simply nodded rather than give voice to the anger that had welled in his chest.

“Good, then we have a plan, such as it is.” Zevran gave them an encouraging smile. 

“Excellent, now we can rest for a bit.” Vic said as he kept an eye on Fenris then glanced to the others. The Tevinter elf left rose and went to their room without a word, unwilling to let them see his anger. 

Vic grabbed a bottle of wine and left them with an apology for how the night might go.

“So now that I have thoroughly ruined Fenris’ and Hawke’s evening, I will take my leave and prepare things.” Zevran got up and slipped out of the room.

That left Cullen and Meneris staring at each other over the table with food and wine left between them. “Well that was ...awkward.” Meneris said with a sigh as he picked at his plate.

“It’s been a long trip and I think we’re all tired. Plus being here can’t be easy.” Cullen took a sip of his wine. “When I was a templar, Minrathous was the center of all evil. It’s… strange to be here right now.” 

“You’re telling me.” Meneris said as he refilled his glass. “I keep expecting someone to yell at me for not serving someone.” 

“Do you really think that Pavus can make a difference here?” Cullen asked. 

“I don’t know, I just...I feel so stupid but I just want to know one way or another.” Meneris said

“Don’t be. There is a concern and if he needs our help, he’ll have it.” Cullen reached out and squeezed Meneris’ shoulder.

“Thanks, I should probably get some rest as well. Sleep well Cullen.” Meneris returned his brief grip before he left the commander to his thoughts.

Cullen turned and glanced out the window to the Minrathous streets. Blood magic, demons… Minrathous was always considered ground zero for all of it. Even though he wasn’t truly a templar anymore, his skin crawled.

**

Cullen scratched at his hair. He couldn’t help the feeling that it wasn’t his own and it bothered him. Zevran had colored it a deep black to help disguise him, and he wasn’t sure if it would be good enough. 

His eyes scanned the room, searching for Pavus. “How do you mages stand these robes?” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Hawke who stood next to him. He fought not to fidget and pull at the material. 

“Why do you think I wore armor all the time?” Hawke replied as he brushed a bit of reddish blond hair out of his eyes. He’d used a combination of a cantrip and potion to make himself look entirely different, just to be sure Pavus wouldn’t know him.

“Do you see him?” he asked quietly.

The ball was crowded, the lavish room filled to the brim. “Not yet,” Cullen muttered.

“Well let’s go make ourselves seen, and hopefully catch some bits of gossip about the reclusive Altus.” Vic said as he slipped his arm through Cullen’s and led him around. “You don’t know much Tevene, this is for your safety, just pretend to be my country cousin.”

“Lovely,” Cullen muttered. 

They moved through the crowd, Cullen pasting on a bland smile.

“Better that than me giving you tongue in the middle of the floor eh?” Vic said acerbically. “Either pretend you are a pretty but vacuous side piece or my unwitting cousin on his first foray into the big city. Your choice, now smile.” Vic said as he snagged a glass of wine from a passing servant.

Cullen slipped his arm around Invictus and pulled him close as they walked. He was taller than most people so he was able to scan the crowd easier. 

“I think that’s him, if he’s let his hair grow out and is wearing it in some obscenely ornate style.” Vic said as he felt Cullen’s arm tighten around him. 

Cullen leaned over as if he were whispering something naughty in Hawke’s ear. “Let’s go, but we need to be prepared to run if this goes wrong.” 

“Of course, we’ve got our route planned and someone to pass them word should we have to flee. Let’s go.” Vic leered at Cullen before he turned towards where he saw Dorian. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” he asked quietly.

“Which part? I would rather be hunting blood mages than this. I feel too aware that we’re in Tevinter right now.” Cullen’s grip tightened on Hawke’s waist. “Although I have missed being out of the field. I feel stifled sometimes in Skyhold. 

“Not what meant but that’s fine.” Vic replied as they made their way over to where Dorian was holding court with an Antivan prince and a few other Altus’ that had made their way to him.

“Do we outright approach?” Cullen whispered.

“Offer him a drink and tell him how much we’ve admired him.” Vic said quietly as he made his way over to Dorian’s line of sight. He waited until he had the other man’s eye and offered him a glass of dark red wine. “If you would like a drink, you’ve been entertaining for a while without a break.” Vic said with a smile.

Dorian’s eyes narrowed sharply before he schooled his features and accepted the drink. “Thank you.” He offered his hand. “Dorian Pavus.” 

“Antonius, of House Leonis, a pleasure to meet you.” Vic gave him a respectful nod as he noted how Cullen’s hand tightened even more around his waist.

Dorian’s lips twitched in mild amusement. He had changed his hair since he had been gone. It was much longer and piled artfully on his head, the sides and back shaved down short. “And your friend?” 

Cullen didn’t understand a word that they were saying, so he gave Dorian a smile when the Altus turned his eyes on him.

“He seems familiar to me,” Dorian added. 

“He’s my companion for the evening, always dreadful to come to these things alone.” Vic said as he leaned over and whispered in Cullen’s ear to smile bigger and offer his hand. “He’s...a bit shy unfortunately.”

Cullen did as he was told and Dorian took his hand, kissing the back of it lightly. “Antonius you say?” Dorian asked. 

“Yes, we’ve never crossed paths in person before I’m sad to say.” Vic grinned and laid the charm on thick.

“Interesting…” Dorian mused. He got to his feet and handed his wine glass to a passing servant without looking once at the elf. 

“Walk with me, Antonius. Your… friend may come as well.” 

“Thank you for your generosity Lord Pavus.” Vic smiled as he gave his companion a wink and followed after Dorian.

Dorian led them to a side room and shut the door firmly behind him before he whirled on Invictus. “Where is he? Where’s Meneris?” he hissed sharply. “Neither of you would have come without him.” 

“Where’s who?” Vic asked just in case Dorian was playing them.

“Do not toy with me, Hawke,” Dorian warned. “Where is he? So help me, if he’s in Minrathous right now…” 

Invictus arched an eyebrow at the Altus, staring at him for a while before he spoke. “What if he was here? Do you have any idea how he’s suffered as you’ve distanced yourself from him?” 

Dorian’s lip curled beneath his mustache. “Where. Is. He?” 

Cullen’s eyes had sharpened on Dorian, his hand twitching slightly and wishing for a sword in it. 

“You think we’ll tell you when you’re like this? When you won’t tell us anything Dorian?” Vic said as he stared down the slightly shorter man.

“Tell you what?” Dorian shot back. “You need to leave Minrathous--now.”

“We are not just turning around and going if you don’t tell us what’s going on here Pavus.” Cullen said finally.

“I didn’t drag him back here along with Fenris bitching half the way to just leave you.” Vic added

“Fenris is here too?” Dorian said, horrified. “No… No all of you need to leave right now. There is nothing to explain. I don’t want to see any of you.” 

“Bullshit,” Cullen said. “What’s happening?” 

“We are not leaving like this, not after seeing Meneris deteriorate before all of us. Do you realize how broken he is right now?” Vic snarled.

“And you do realize how little I care,” Dorian hissed back. “You aren’t wanted in Minrathous, Champion.”

Vic reeled back slightly at the other man’s vitriol. “What happened to you? You looked on Meneris like you would perish without his love now you speak as if we’re vermin.” 

“Leave,” Dorian said through gritted teeth. “Before I report you to the guard.” 

“No, we are not leaving what in the Void is wrong with you?” Cullen asked.

Dorian pulled out a dagger that had been sheathed at his side. “Leave.” He raised the blade to his palm, that they could see was scarred with old and new wounds and slashed the flesh open.

“No…” Cullen breathed. He whispered a quick prayer to Andraste, begging her for strength before his smite slammed into Dorian. While it wasn’t as strong as it had once been when he had been taking lyrium, Cullen still had considerable power. Dorian gasped in shock and his eyes rolled in the back of his head. 

Invictus hurried forward and caught him before he hit the floor. 

“We have to get him to the kitchen and get him out of here,” Hawke said in a rush.

They slung Dorian’s arms over their shoulders and stumbled out of the side room. To any passers by, the mage would appear as if he were drunk and being helped by friends. Still, they weaved through the hallways and didn’t stop for anyone. 

They made it to the kitchen and only a few of the servants glanced up when they entered. Survival meant not asking questions of mages and they turned back to their work, their eyes downcast.

Vic picked the ennervated Altus up and headed into the back room where Zevran, Meneris and Fenris waited. “It got ugly, we need to get out of here, now.” 

Cullen flipped up the hand that was draped over his shoulder so that they could see the still bleeding palm. “Very ugly. We need to get him out of here and secured.”

Zevran cursed under his breath. “Follow me, yes? Will he be out for a while?” 

“Hopefully,” Cullen grumbled. 

“What happened? Why did he try to use blood magic?” Meneris asked as they hurried behind Zevran and Fenris.

“He tried to force us to leave,” Cullen answered. Zevran had moved a few crates in the backroom and revealed a hidden door. It must have once been used to bring in goods before the servant’s entrance had been built.

They climbed down into the dark and Zevran was the last to follow, covering their tracks. 

Meneris scowled as they went, hating how Dorian had resorted to blood magic to try and make them leave. He kept quiet as they went just in case there was nothing to be done and his lover was lost to him.

They slipped out into the street, the darkness of night their cover. Zevran didn’t take them straight to the brothel. Instead, he took a roundabout route in order to make sure they weren’t being followed. 

They made it to the brothel hours later. Dorian’s limp body a dead weight they had taken turns in carrying. There would be the Void to pay for him going missing as he did from the party, but there was no helping that now. 

Slipping into the backdoor of the brothel, they took Dorian up the stairs and to the backrooms. Cullen laid him down on one of the couches and the five of them stood around it in silence.

“Dorian…” Meneris whispered as he stared at the man that had drawn from him in his letters.

“We should bind him so he can’t do blood magic when he comes around.” Fenris said as he knelt to tie the mage’s hands. “Vic can you bring him out of it? He’s been out for a while already.”

Invictus rolled up his sleeves. “This might get ugly,” he warned. 

He touched his fingers to Dorian’s head and let his magic slip through. It had only the barest hint of healing, but it was enough. Dorian’s eyes snapped open and he began to scream in pain.

Zevran rushed over and slapped his palm over Dorian’s mouth, muffling him as the mage writhed.

“Blood magic and healing don’t mix, remember?” Fenris said as he got a healing potion from his belt and sat next to Dorian. 

“I’m going to give you this potion Pavus. You scream again, I’ll knock you out the hard way and we’ll just wait for you to come around. Look at me, and nod slowly so Zev can take his hand away.” Fenris held the uncorked bottle at the ready.

Dorian’s eyes were glazed with pain and he nodded sharply. Slowly, Zevran removed his hand.

“Remember, scream and I knock you out, keep your mouth open...good.” Fenris let the potion pour into his mouth and waited for him to swallow. “Now, we’re going to have a conversation about why you are here, and why you have made it so we had to track you down.”

“I’m here because I am a citizen of Tevinter,” Dorian croaked. “And you are kidnappers.” He refused to look at Meneris, studiously avoiding his gaze. 

“Dorian, look at me… please Amatus.” Meneris begged.

“What!” Dorian shouted, snapping his head to the side to look at Meneris. “Why did you come here!”

“Because I needed to see what was wrong with you? Those letters Dorian, those letters were not the words of the man who left me at Skyhold months ago!” Meneris replied.

“No yelling, Pavus, or Fenris will take you out.” Vic reminded him.

Dorian raised his hands to his face and that’s when he noticed he was bound. “So you show up, kidnap me, and restrain me?” he asked. 

“In case you’ve forgotten, you were the one who tried to do blood magic so we’d go. So yes we bound you.” Cullen said as he leaned against the wall, hand on the hilt of his sword.

“Please,whatever is wrong we can fix it, Dorian, please, please.” Meneris begged. 

“Stop it!” Dorian cried. “Just all of you fucking stop it. Why did you have to come? Why did you…” He buried his face in his hands.

“Because for some reason he cares about you, Pavus. Stop whining and face the man after all he’s done to see you.” Fenris said as he sat back to give them a semblance of privacy.

“You shouldn’t have come, Meneris.” Dorian shifted on the couch so he was able to sit up. “I don’t want or need you here. It’s too dangerous.” 

“Let me decide what’s too dangerous for me Dorian. I traveled a long fucking way, and burned a lot of bridges to get here and see you. If something is wrong, you need to tell us. I can’t believe you’d turn your back on us, your friends you’ve made for what? This bullshit? Does the fact I love you mean nothing now? Does what we achieved as the Inquisition mean nothing? Tell me.” Meneris held his chin so the other man had to look at him.

“I’ve infiltrated the Venatori,” Dorian murmured. “They can’t see me with you and months of work might already be destroyed now.” 

“As far as people know, you were abducted from a party or you were seen with an admirer who offered you a night of debauchery. Zevran can send you back if you need to go, but you could have just told us that and not resorted to blood magic back there.” Fenris said. 

“No one who saw us knew who we were. How you did I would love to know. In fact your admirers should make sure you get home safely in the morning, eh Lord Pavus? Or you can get yourself home with a tale of how you escaped the clutches of the Venatori’s enemies.” Vic said.

“You still need to leave Minrathous,” Dorian said flatly. “Damn it. I tried to make sure that no one would come.” 

“Then you should have made your letters more amorous, yes?” Zevran said with a grin. “Maybe it wouldn’t have been so suspicious then.”

“You guaranteed I would come with the change in your words. Unless you were trying to pretend to lure me here? Would that cement your place with them if you delivered the Inquisitor all tied up and ready for them?” Meneris asked.

“No.” Dorian shook his head sharply. “I left the Inquisitor after an argument and returned to Minrathous. In fact, I hate him and would do anything to get back at him for humiliating me.” He swallowed heavily. “It was how they believed me. I came back for pride and selfishness.” 

“And the blood magic?” Invictus prompted.

“So they don’t try and control me again,” Dorian said softly. 

“Again?” Zevran asked. 

“Then we should get back so you can have your revenge. Once Zevran can safely get us out of the city I’ll go home. Please don’t get killed Dorian. I love you so much…” Meneris said before he broke down before them. 

“Let’s give them a few moments before we figure out how to get Lord Pavus back to his new friends.” Fenris said with a gesture for Vic to follow him.

Dorian lifted his bound wrists. “If someone would be so kind…” 

“Are you going to do more blood magic?” Cullen asked as he eyed Dorian warily.

“Not on you,” Dorian said evenly. 

“Then on who?” Cullen asked as he fingered the pommel of his sword and glared at the bound mage.

“If he does it on me, so be it. I was the one ...just untie him Cullen, please.” Meneris said quietly.

“Come now, Commander, I thought we were friends once,” Dorian murmured. 

“I thought so too,” Cullen answered. 

“We all thought that Dorian.” Vic interjected as he came back into the room, reached past Cullen and untied the rope but kept a spell at the ready. “Don’t fucking try me Pavus, just don’t.” he said as he wound the rope around his arm. “I needed something, and it looks like these two could use a few moments commander.”

Zevran remained to watch over them, just in case Dorian wasn’t telling the entire truth.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Dorian told Meneris again when they had the illusion of privacy. He was keenly aware of Zevran watching them sharply. 

“Maybe, but I needed to know the truth Dorian. Do you realize what your letters were doing to me? I had to know, and now I do. Just give me a kiss and tell me it will be alright? That you’ll come back...some day?” Meneris knew he looked like a lost boy but he didn’t care.

“It won’t be all right,” Zevran said. “Look at him, yes? He’s in too deep. Blood magic to show them you are one of them, lying about the status of your relationship with the Inquisitor… How many things have you had to do since this first started, Pavus?” 

A muscle in Dorian’s jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth. “It wasn’t meant to go this far,” he answered. 

“It never is, but now that it has, you do realize that unless you get help, you will die,” Zevran said flatly. 

“Zevran!” Meneris called the other elf’s name in a snarl. “No, you are wrong. This isn’t supposed to be this way, we’re...he’s not turned against me. Right Dorian?” 

“It’s not that,” Zevran answered for Dorian. “But I have been where he is--pretending to be something you are not, bedding down with snakes in order to complete the mission. At some point, you have so much blood on your hands and a guilty conscious, that you start to sink down in the mire.” 

“Quiet,” Dorian hissed. 

“Truth can be painful. Was this your idea, or the anti Venatori alliance you are a part of?” Zevran asked. “What was the original goal? To get some low level Venatori to confide their secrets to you, a meeting place here and there? What happened to make you crawl deeper?” 

“They’re going to kill Meneris,” Dorian answered softly. 

“And you thought if you were in on the plot you could protect him, yes? Admirable, but foolish. Now you have done too much blood magic and Maker knows what else and can’t get yourself out of it without alerting them to your duplicity.” Zevran tilted his head to the side. 

“Love, I can take care of myself you needed have done this to protect me.” Meneris said quietly as he kept his hands twined with Dorian’s. “Let us help you, let them pretend they have you just a bit longer but we cannot let them win. Find out that I’m here, and that you will betray me so we can draw them out. Then you leave, you hear me?” 

Dorian knew that Meneris could feel the scars that now crisscrossed his hands. He wanted to recoil from it. “These men… They’re so much more powerful than I had thought.” 

“What did you expect love? They survived the Inquisition and Corypheus’ fall.. You cannot let them win, and if they try to take you from me? They will not like what befalls them.” Meneris said with a terrifying grin.

“You need to contact Maevaris,” Dorian finally said. “She is the leader of the Venatori resistance and was my contact before I had to cut off ties. Things had become too dangerous to even think about sending a coded missive. I… I had hoped my letters to you would be seen as nothing if they had been intercepted.”

“Is she being watched?” Meneris asked as he frowned at the marks on Dorian’s hands. “I’ve failed you love, forgive me.”

Dorian curled his fingers over his palms. “It’s nothing. And she is definitely being watched. The Lucemi is a thorn in the Venatori’s side. They see those that actively fight them as weaker magisters. It took a lot to convince them that I was no longer a part of that.” 

“Then we will need to make sure our abrupt visit does nothing to tarnish your reputation. We should come up with a plan before you return to your new brethren.” Fenris said as he returned to the room. 

“Just like that, and you believe me?” Dorian asked.

“No, but I do know it will be worse if you are missing for too much longer. I have connections in the Crows and if I am seen in Minrathous, people will assume I am in service to my Crow Master. I’ve made it very, very clear I serve no magister here nor will I again.” Fenris gave him a wicked smile as he stretched out with his feet on the bed while he stared down Dorian.

“Lovely…” Dorian said dryly. “Your name and face is known, Fenris. All of you... “ 

“Is your hearing affected by becoming a maleficarum, Dorian? I said, here I am known as a Crow, with no ties to the Inquisition. I worked very hard to be sure that is the case. If I am spotted, if mind you I can brush it off as Crow business. After all, perhaps someone has taken a bid on contracts against the Lucemi, hmm? Fenris inspected his nails as if Dorian were no more important than a fly.

“Be that as it may Fenris, we have to play this carefully. Word of my arrival cannot come too close on the heels of him escaping his captors or those who would dump him drunk in the street for a lark.” Meneris said.

“You’re enjoying my downfall, are you not?” Dorian asked Fenris. 

The elf’s hands stilled before he glared at the other man. “No, I am not. I am here because my friend requested our help in rescuing you. If I were enjoying this? I wouldn’t be here since there are contracts worth a lot of coin awaiting an answer while I sit here. If I were enjoying it, I’d rat you out and take the Venatori’s coin with a smile as you bled out. Do not question my motives again.” 

“Easy Fenris, easy. I’m here too and believe me being stuck in a place where I don’t even speak the language pretending to be Invictus’ bed-warmer for the night is not my idea of a vacation.” Cullen added

Dorian rose to his feet. “I should be leaving before my absence is noticed.”

“No,” Zevran said. “You need to stay the rest of the night here, yes? Then we will concoct a story for you to tell should they ask.” 

“Enjoy each other, maybe Meneris will stop moping.” Fenris said before he turned to find Invictus. “Oh, Cullen the offer still stands, we _were_ serious you know.”

“I…” Cullen’s face flushed red and he averted his eyes. “I need to keep watch over Pavus.” 

“Like a prisoner,” Dorian muttered. 

“No, you don’t. We are going to find a room and actually have privacy. Go with them, it might make you tolerable.” Meneris sniped as he shooed Cullen away.

“He’s done blood magic and needs to be watched.” Cullen folded his arms over his chest. “If I hear the slightest thing, I’m coming in the room…” 

“If you hear the slightest thing, you might get an eyeful,” Zevran quipped. 

“I will try to keep the demon use to a minimum,” Dorian said dryly. He got to his feet and followed Meneris to one of the rooms.

“Don’t be a smart ass.” Cullen said as they left. He turned to Zevran with a wry smile and nodded at the wine. “I could use a bit of a pick me up, you?”

“Drinking on the job?” Zevran asked archly. 

Cullen sat down heavily on the couch. “Just one.” 

**

Meneris breathed a sigh of relief as the door clicked closed behind them. He approached Dorian quickly and took him in his arms. “Amatus...amatus.” he said over and over.

Dorian had stiffened against Meneris. “I’m sorry…” 

“I know...I know love.” Meneris sniffed as he pulled the other man closer for a kiss. “I’m just glad you aren’t dead or actually part of the Venatori.”

The kiss was a quick press of the lips, and Dorian stiffened further.

“Dorian...please don’t pull away from me, please I …” Meneris frowned as he glanced away.

“I’m not… I… I did things, Meneris. I did things in order to survive and protect you.” Dorian’s hands shook around Meneris’ shoulders. 

“I know, I’m not judging. You can’t fall apart right now ok?” Meneris nuzzled against him. “I’m a big boy, I’ll be ok.”

“I… I did something to myself so I could go through it with, Meneris.” Dorian held him back at arm’s length.

“What? What do you think is so terrible Dorian?” Meneris asked worriedly

“I can’t,,, I can’t feel as much as I used to,” Dorian said flatly. “I had to do it in order to get around any invasions into my mind.” 

“I don’t...understand?” Meneris replied.

“I mean I made a choice to separate myself from certain feelings because it would have gotten me, you, and a lot of other people killed. It was my first act of blood magic.” Now it was Dorian who couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I...does this mean you don’t feel love for me anymore?” Meneris asked.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian said again. “I’m so sorry.” 

Meneris turned away, and tried to not let the sob that had bubbled up in his throat out. Even if Dorian escaped the Venatori, he couldn’t love him anymore. 

“You should go back to Skyhold, take the others with you,” Dorian prompted. 

“No, I am not leaving you here. Stop pushing me away!” Meneris snapped.

“You don’t know what they did to me before I cut some of my emotions out,” Dorian shot back. “I swore I would never allow them to do that to you, or anyone else.”

Meneris got up to pace as he tried to find words that weren’t just swears at his lover. “Is it just what they did or what you did to yourself?” 

“Both. I won’t let either happen to you. I may not be able to feel as I once did, but protecting you is still what I believe in.” 

“Creators ...what has happened to us?” Meneris asked as he slumped into a chair and tried to control the urge to scream at Dorian for being stupid.

“I made mistakes and sacrifices. I should have… I should have returned to Skyhold when things started to go bad. I know you won’t be able to forgive me for this, Meneris. All I can do is say I’m sorry and try to make sure this doesn’t affect anyone else.” Dorian slowly began to pace the room.

“Do you even want to sleep with me?” Meneris asked tiredly

“I want to, but it wouldn’t be the same, Meneris. I…” Dorian’s hands curled into fists. “I need to get that part of myself back.” 

“I meant just sleep, I don’t think I have it in me for anything else.” the elven warrior came back to the bed and sighed.

“If you’ll have me,” Dorian answered. 

“Stop...just stop being so defeated. Let’s just sleep.” Meneris said as he pulled all but his breeches off and crawled under the covers so he was facing Dorian.

Dorian followed, laying his clothes and boots in a neat pile by the bed. He climbed in after Meneris and slipped under the blankets. 

Once the candles were snuffed and Dorian had put his arm around Meneris, the Inquisitor finally let himself grieve.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find out how deep in Dorian really is, and Cullen finally learns how to accept what others see in him.

“Remember,” Dorian said the next morning, as he was busy splashing wine on his robes to give himself the appearance of having had a night of it. “Find Maevaris.” 

“We will find her as soon as you are on your way, yes?” Zevran assured him. 

“Fine Maeveris, got it.” Meneris said dully from where he sat with a glass of wine in hand.

“And keep out of sight,” Dorian added. He took a large swig of the wine. 

“We are not amateurs.” Zevran said in a huff.

“We’re not, no. Go on and get back to your friends, Pavus.” Fenris sneered as he watched Dorian finish making himself look like he’d gone a few rounds.

Dorian took the derision in stride. There wasn’t much he could do to get back in their good graces except to see this through. 

“And if things go wrong, you know where to find us,” Cullen said snidely. 

“No he won’t,” Zevran interjected. “He will be blindfolded so he can’t inadvertently give away our position, yes? If he needs to contact us, he will be able to through Maevaris.” 

“Fine, I don’t care, I just want this nightmare over.” Meneris said sulkily.

“As do we, but you are not going to pickle yourself before lunch.” Fenris said as he took the wine on his way past and dumped it out.

Dorian touched Meneris’ cheek and turned him to face the mage. “Do you still have my family amulet?”

“Yes, what else would I have done with it?” Meneris asked as he turned away. His anger seemed to rise with him that morning, as he tugged at the cord. “I suppose you want it back?”

“No. Keep it safe,” Dorian said quickly. “Please.” 

“Very well, if you change your mind drop me a line.” Meneris scrubbed at his face as he sat there, well aware of them all staring at them.

Dorian knew he deserved Meneris’ anger. He backed away slowly and turned to Zevran. “Ready.” 

Fenris squeezed Meneris’ shoulder and didn’t fault the other elf for pulling away and walking into one of the rooms that hadn’t been used. He gave Dorian a glance as he got ready to leave with Zevran. “Any orders for me, Master Arainai?”

 _“Follow us at a distance, make sure we aren’t spotted as I lead him away from here,”_ Zevran said in Antivan.

“As you command,” Fenris replied before slipping away to the shadows.

“Let us go then?” Zevran held up a blindfold.

**

It had been hours since Dorian had been brought in to meet with the leader of his Venatori sect. The older man had grilled him, repeatedly to see if there was any change in his story from one telling to the next. 

“One last time, what happened to you, exactly Magister Pavus?” came from the depths of the dark hood Magister Prithensius wore as he repeated his queries.

“I’m not quite sure,” Dorian replied. “Mixed my alcohol and woke up in someone’s bed whom I had never seen before. I assume I had a pleasant time.” He sat in Prithensius’ drawing room, looking for all the world like a man who had spent a hard night drinking. “I appreciate that you and the others were worried when I disappeared, but there was no need for it.” 

“It’s partially worry and also not knowing if your spurned lover may come looking for you. That would be a boon to our cause, but not at the expense of losing you. Get cleaned up and make sure you’re seen at our next gathering, and don’t get so damned drunk next time Pavus. We’ll keep an eye on you, for your safety ...of course.” Prithensius waved him off as if he were an errant child brought to heel.

“Yes my lord,” Dorian said with only the slightest hint of mockery. He rose to his feet to leave the drawing room.

“See you at the Senate once you’re recovered Lord Pavus.” came the mocking reply as the door shut. 

Dorian’s eyes narrowed dangerously and he rose to his feet. He hated coming to Prithensius’ home, but the man was one of the inner circle of the Venatori. 

The older magister ignored him, fully focused on some new intelligence that needed review. He’d keep his eye on Pavus especially for the younger mage’s good. He was still mooning over that damned knife-ear, no matter what he said.

Dorian left the house and walked out into the inner district of Minrathous. Two guards stepped behind him and although it was supposed to be an escort home, he knew it was only to watch him and report back. If he could feel the hate for it that lurked deep inside him, he knew he’d be more angry than he was. Instead, he felt only cool detachment.

**

Zevran watched Pavus walk down the smooth stone street from the shadows. “He was not there long, no?” he asked Fenris. 

“No, my guess is he convinced them just enough to let him go on a very, very short leash.” the Tevinter elf replied as he leaned casually against the wall looking for all the world like a bored mercenary waiting for a contact.

“This Magister that he came to see… I will look into him, yes? I do not think we will find out much good about him.” Zevran eyed the house.

“Of course not, he’s a magister after all. What is my assignment?” he asked

“See if you can get some of his servants to talk to you. I will try the social route and together we might be able to paint a picture of this man, yes?” 

“As you wish ser, I’ll meet you at home for dinner.” Fenris gave a nod before he slipped away to do Zevran’s bidding.

**

Dorian had strode by his father and mother and gone straight to his laboratory, shutting and locking the door behind him. He wasn’t in the mood to speak to them and give them the same lie he had given everyone else as to where he was the night before. 

He walked over to a bookshelf and pulled a thick tome free. Hidden behind it was a small crystal that shifted from red to blue. He needed a better place to hide this, and now he had one. Pulling a dagger free, he slashed at his palm, only wincing slightly at the pain. It was becoming alarmingly easier to do this.

Blood pooled in his hand and he set the crystal in the center of it. Tears sprang to his eyes as his long lost emotions struggled to free themselves from the crystal, trying to seep back into his body through his blood. 

He closed his eyes and clutched the crystal to his chest, murmuring a spell in ancient tevene. “Go,’ he whispered, his fingers opening.

Red and blue sparked brightly, hovering above his hand before shooting across the room and disappearing through the wall. The light danced in the air, moving almost too fast to see as it sped across the city.

And right towards a brothel.

It passed through the glass of a window zipping through a common room.

Cullen glanced up, his hand immediately going to his sword hilt. “What is--” The light abruptly turned and disappeared into Meneris’ room.

Meneris glanced up in time to see a blur of reddish light before it wrapped around him, making him gasp in shock and pain. “What...is…” was all he got out before he went to his knees, weeping brokenly.

The light slipped over him and then under his tunic, condensing on the amulet that Dorian had given him so long ago now. The light abruptly winked out, an egg shaped crystal in the center of the amulet. 

Cullen slammed his fist on the door. “Meneris!” 

“It’s… unlocked…” Meneris gasped out as he struggled to stay just on his knees as the door slammed open.

Cullen came bursting in with his sword in his hand, his eyes darting around the room. “Are you okay? What was that?” 

“I’m...I’m...son of a bitch. He, he sent his, he sent whatever was holding his emotions to me for safety.” Meneris rasped as he held a hand up to Cullen. “Please?”

“Who? What?” Cullen lifted Meneris to his feet and steadied him with an arm around his waist.

“Dorian, did something to hide his feelings so they could stop getting into his head. He must have sent that to me, to the amulet, it’s why he asked if I still had it.” replied the elven warrior. 

Cullen wiped at Meneris’ tears with his thumb. “Why would he do that?”

“The Ventilator were breaking him, and if he had nothing in his heart they couldn't tell he still ...he still loves me. Damned fool did it to protect me.” Meneris sniffed.

“Damned fool indeed,” Cullen muttered. “You cried out. Are you hurt?” He shifted his grip on Meneris and led him out into the common room to have a seat.

“It was like getting hit with a wave of...emotion at once. I’ll be fine in a bit. I’ll be even better when I can throttle that damned fool.” Meneris sat down and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. “Coming here may have been a mistake, Cullen.”

“No… No I think coming here was the right choice. He’s in over his head and needs our help.” Cullen sheathed his sword. 

“Not for my emotional good it wasn’t.” Meneris said miserably. “Where are the others? I’m surprised they didn’t come running too.”

“Zevran and Fenris went out to follow Dorian and I’m not sure where Hawke is.” Cullen went to a sideboard and poured Meneris a drink.

“Thanks…” the Inquisitor took the drink in hand and sighed. “Are you alright? I know being around Fenris must be a challenge.”

Cullen laughed. “Being around most people is a challenge for me. I have become so used to being in command that it’s been humbling to realize that I’m not here. I’ve been an ass.” 

“I meant the lyrium, not that. Be blunt with me Cullen, how _are you?_ really?” Meneris asked

Cullen swallowed audibly. “I’ll be fine. Sometimes I look at him and I feel… All that lyrium inside him, and here I am surrounded by blood magic and my power isn’t what it once was.” 

“But you’re not fine now? Why don’t you take some time for yourself? I’ll be ok here for a while.” Meneris waved him off as he sipped his drink.

“No… No I won’t leave you alone, not right now. We don’t know what Dorian did to you.” Cullen took a seat opposite of Meneris. “Besides, if I’m on focused on the mission, then I’m thinking about other things.” 

“Fine, just… I’m not in the mood to really talk Cullen. Just sit with me please?” Meneris asked quietly.

“Done,” Cullen said with a small smile. 

**

Fenris was getting restless as he shifted to get comfortable. Dorian hadn’t come out or left his room from what he’d seen. He’d settled on waiting to catch a servant outside the Villa but they barely came and went, even from the back entrance he’d been watching for a good part of the day.

But then the servant’s entrance opened and Dorian slipped out. He had cleaned himself up and was wearing a set of rich robes in red and black, looking very much the part of a magister or altus. 

“Lucky, lucky me... “ Fenris murmured as he fell in behind Dorian as a shadow to the altu’s every move.

Dorian might have given his guards the slip, but Fenris was another story. The altus moved through the streets, unaware that he was being followed. 

The elf wondered where his prey was headed in such a hurry that he didn’t even sense his lyrium, or the dark clad elf that seemed to be wherever he was. Wherever Pavus as headed, he was in a hurry and being incautious.

Dorian turned a corner and went down an alley. At the end stood a hooded and cloaked figure.

“Pavus,” came a deep rumble. “Took you long enough.” 

“I’m being followed by several people,” Dorian said offhandedly. “I had to slip away.” 

Fenris leaned back so he could watch, unseen but hear what they said. He tried to figure out who his target’s contact was, but couldn’t quite place them.

The hooded figure sauntered over to Dorian. He placed a gloved hand on Dorian’s jaw. “I heard you had a time of it last night.” 

Dorian shrugged. “A mistake that won’t happen again.” 

Fenris scowled, but didn’t move from his spot. He wondered who the other man was, but didn’t dare risk his position to identify him. It would have to be work after he finished tailing the Altus.

The figured leaned forward, crushing his lips to Dorian’s. “See that it doesn’t…” 

Fenris nearly unseated himself when he saw their rough kiss. He continued to scowl as he watched them. Was this who Dorian had claimed to be with now that he’d told the lie he was no longer with the Inquisitor?

“I can’t stay long, Atticus,” Dorian murmured. “There is nothing to report to the council.”

The elven assassin filed away the name for later, and continued to observe them.  
“The Venatori do not like those that dither on their duty,” Atticus reminded Dorian. “You did so well at first, why do you hesitate now?” 

“I am not hesitating,” Dorian snapped, pulling away from the other man. “You of all people are questioning my loyalty?” 

“I question your resolve, not your loyalty,” Atticus answered smoothly. “The Inquisitor and the Archon must die for our plans to move forward. Yet you stall in giving us vital information to aid us in our cause.” 

Fenris very slowly pulled a small notebook out so he could jot names down while he eavesdropped. He was grateful for the darkness and busy-ness of the street to mask the little bit of sound he’d made.

“I’m not balking in my duty,” Dorian snapped. “I gave the council all the information I had, information I might add, that is old now that I’ve been gone from Skyhold.”

Atticus stared at Dorian for a long, silent stretch before he turned away. “They require more. If you cannot give it then I cannot stay their hand for long. You are useful in what you can give us, Dorian. I do not wish to see them try to elevate you too soon.” 

Dorian grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him back. “You will not touch my father in order to make me magister.” 

“It will be out of your hands,” Atticus warned. 

That made Fenris almost drop his notes before he recovered himself. They might try to get rid of Halward, and make him an unwitting pawn. He needed to get back to Zevran but he wasn’t going to leave until Dorian was free of this Atticus.

“Will it?” Dorian mused. “Tell the council I will have something for them in two days.” 

“As you wish…” Atticus gave Dorian a low, sweeping bow before he turned and left the alley.

Fenris waited until Atticus was gone before he dropped down behind the altus. “Charming friend you have there.”

To his credit, Dorian didn’t start--much. “How long were you there?” 

“Long enough, don’t worry I won’t be seen with you Pavus. Expect a missive soon from us, unless you have other issues to discuss with me? Like who is that charming gentleman with you?” Fenris asked quietly.

“Atticus…” Dorian murmured. “One of the higher ups in the Venatori. He’s my contact to the council and the one who usually gives me my orders. Damn him… He’s also…” Dorian couldn’t make himself say it outloud. “Sometimes we do things we shouldn’t in order to protect those we love.” 

Fenris nodded solemnly in understanding. “I know, believe me do I know. We’ll be in touch Pavus, try not to get yourself killed hmm?” the elf vaulted up and back to the ledge he’d come from, halfway back to the shadows.

“Easier said than done,” Dorian said more to himself. 

**

Fenris returned to find Meneris and Cullen sharing a bottle of wine, with no signs of Hawke or Zevran. “Should I leave?” he asked as he shut the door behind himself.

“No, come join us,” Cullen offered. 

The elven assassin dropped his cloak, grabbed a glass and sat with them, careful to keep his distance from Cullen. “Did I miss anything?”

“Only some blood magic by Pavus,” Cullen said lightly. 

“Hmm, well that’s ...unfortunate.” Fenris said as he tugged the chain tucked under his tunic free and slipped his wedding band back on.

Cullen’s eyes slid to it, but he declined to comment, choosing instead to take a sip of his drink.

Fenris noticed his look and tilted his head to the side. “Something to say Cullen?” he asked quietly.

“When did you and Hawke get married?” he asked idly. 

“A while back, it...it’s still complicated when you consider Zevran and my, involvement with him. Rather our involvement with him.” Fenris replied as he rubbed his thumb over the dark metal band, suddenly self-conscious about it under their scrutiny. 

Meneris looked away, unable to hide the pang of longing he felt.

“I’m surprised you didn’t do it sooner, say when you were in Kirkwall.” Cullen took another sip.

“It wasn’t the right time then.” Fenris glanced to the other elf. “Apologies Meneris, I...don’t want to make this worse.” he shifted so the ring was hidden away from the other elf’s view.

“No, it’s fine Fenris. Even without this going on, I doubt he and I could be married peaceably. Not with his ties and my...elfishness.” Meneris replied tiredly.

“You have his emotions now, what do you think?” Cullen asked.

“They are in this crest, not me...I think?” Meneris replied. “It’s more who we are, even with the threat of Corypheus gone, I’m still the Inquisitor and can’t get a fucking moment’s peace!” the elven warrior snarled with a slam of his fist on the table.

“Did ...he transfer emotions to you? That’s, incredibly dangerous and foul blood magic Meneris. It can overwhelm you quickly if you are not careful. Please let Vic check you over when he returns.” Fenris said in worry.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry I just feel...not myself right now.” Meneris replied quietly. “Perhaps I should lie down.” 

“No, you stay right here and I’ll send for Hawke.” Fenris said with another worried glance at Cullen before he headed upstairs to send a raven to the other man.

“Maybe Hawke will know what he did,” Cullen offered. 

“I don’t care, Hawke isn’t ...I don’t need his help.” Meneris snapped before he took the wine bottle and went to the fireplace to sulk.

Fenris returned to find the other elf staring into the fire angrily and Cullen scowling at his back.

“I was gone for ten minutes, at the most. What happened?” 

Cullen stalked over to Meneris and pried the bottle from his fingers. “He’s not handling this well.” 

Hawke came in a few moments after Fenris. “What’s happened?” 

“Cullen you seem to know more than I do, explain while I keep Meneris still?” Fenris asked as he grabbed the Inquisitor and held him in place. 

“I am stronger than you, and unless you want me to put you to sleep the hard way, you’ll relax.” Fenris whispered in the other elf’s ear.

“Resorting to threats already?” Meneris replied angrily.

Cullen explained as best as he could while he eyed Meneris, his body stiff and at the ready. It wasn’t that he was worried Meneris would hurt them, more that he was worried he would hurt himself. 

Hawke frowned. “That’s some nasty blood magic Pavus did.” 

“What did he do?” Fenris asked warily

“Meneris shouldn’t even be near that thing, no one but Pavus should be. His emotions want back inside, and they’ll leak out to whomever is closer. He shouldn’t have ever sent that to you.” Hawke crouched down in front of Meneris. 

“You need to give that back to him,” he said. 

“Can’t, remember? We’ll blow his cover with the Ventori.” Meneris replied.

“No… we’re past that now. You can’t carrying his feelings along with your own. He should have known that,” Hawke said firmly. 

“Meneris, you will self-destruct. I know...from personal experience, believe me.” Fenris said softly.

“Hawke is no maleficar, how would you know this?” Meneris asked in shock.

“It...it’s a long story and one I will not tell while I am restraining you, is it safe to release you or will you lash out, again?” asked Fenris.

“He won’t,” Cullen insisted. He sat back down, projecting an aura of calm.

“Let me go, I shall...behave.” Meneris replied as he took a seat. “You were saying?”

“I was saying that you need to give that back to Dorian and get both of you the Void out of Minrathous. It became too dangerous for him and you a long time ago.” Hawke folded his arms over his chest.

“Our objective has changed then, we tail him to snatch him off the street and get back to Skyhold, we let word trickle back to the Venatori that Meneris stole him back for revenge, or some other plausible story.” Fenris added.

“I thought you’d said you’d experienced this before Fenris?” the elven warrior asked.

The Tevinter elf sighed and poured himself another drink before he began to speak. “You know I was a slave in Tevinter...and I was, I was used for experiments by Danarius. He wanted to see if I could function without emotions, but he can’t...couldn’t make me Tranquil since I’m not a mage.” Fenris paused as he felt Hawke’s hand on his shoulder but he carried on.

“He...he figured out the spell Dorian must have used to withdraw my emotions and put them in a...in something. It backfired since I just had no response most of the time. He tested me by letting me see him in danger, supposedly. I would just stare or shrug or ignore it. There was no imperative to protect him without the false attachment he’d built up over the years. Once he realized I was useless, he reversed the spell, and then I was useless for another month as I...recovered.” 

“He won’t leave, though,” Cullen said suddenly. “Pavus that is. He’s obviously determined to do what he needs to in order to bring them down. I think we might have to take him.” 

“That’s what I said.” Fenris replied.

“I know, and I’m agreeing with you,” Cullen said with a small smile. 

“Then we rest up, tomorrow I go back to tailing Pavus. He’s been summoned to the Senate and we need to take him before then. Once Zevran is back, we’ll decide on a plan.” Fenris took the wine and went to his room almost at a slight run.

Meneris sighed as glanced at Cullen. “I’ll be fine, I just...it’s moving faster than I expected. I’m going to lie down.” 

“Do you need company?” Cullen asked. 

“No, spend time with Hawke or whatever it is you wish to do. I need to be alone.” Meneris left the two men to look at each other expectantly.

“Damn it, Pavus,” Cullen muttered under his breath.

“Tell him that to his face when we grab him. Join me in a drink?” Hawke offered warily.

“I could use another one,” Cullen acknowledged. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “Maker…” 

“Has deserted us Cullen, you know that.” Hawke replied as he poured them each a stiff drink and stretched out by the fire.

“I don’t know that,” Cullen sighed. “I can’t allow myself to know that.” He plucked the drink from Hawke’s fingers, but he didn’t raise it to his lips, instead, he stared down at the golden liquid.

“What’s the matter, change your mind on that drink Commander?” Vic asked before he took a sip.

“You and Fenris got married?” Cullen asked softly. 

That brought Hawke up short as he glanced at the other man. “Why?”

“Because I want to know why? Why after everything that has happened and everything that is and will happen, did you decide to do it?” Cullen took a drink then.

“Because we love each other Cullen, we needed each other and after all that pain and blood and anger? We knew that we needed to have that for us. Does it bother you?” Hawke asked.

“No. I asked Fenris why you didn’t do it sooner. I was surprised you hadn’t. Which makes me wonder why did you eventually do it.” Cullen leaned his head back again. “There’s so much madness in the world. I find myself happy and at the same time a little incredulous that you have gotten married.” 

“Incredulous? Of all the things you could say, that’s not what I’d expect Cullen.” Hawke gave him a slight smile as he flashed the matching ring as he raised his glass.

“Someone married you,” Cullen said with a laugh. “You have to forgive me if I’m a little shocked by it.” He clicked his glass against Hawke’s.

“None more than me friend,” Hawke replied.

“And how does Zevran fit in all of this?”Cullen asked carefully. “I don’t mean to pry… No… I do mean to pry.” 

“You mean that literally, or in how the three of us negotiate this?” Hawke asked as he waved his hand at the other man.

Cullen choked on his drink, his face flushing a dull red. “Not literally,” he wheezed.

“Oh come on Cullen, you have to be just a tad bit curious yes?” Hawke grinned before he knocked back the rest of his drink and helped Cullen gather his wits.

“No!” Cullen said a little bit too quickly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” 

“I’m just having you on friend.” Hawke said as he refreshed their drinks and sat back. “So, not literally...Zevran comes and goes as he pleases. He and Fenris care for each other deeply, and in ways I will never get because I’m a human that’s not had the life they do as elves in Thedas.”

Hawke shrugged as he considered the liquor in his glass. “We all play together on occasion but there are times they spend off to themselves. I have allowance to wander, a bit but only when it’s discussed and negotiated. Zevran likes me well enough but there’s no love between us. Satisfied?”

“Do you ever get lonely if they are off on their own?” Cullen asked. He was prying again, but couldn’t seem to help it. 

“Depends, if Fenris knows I’m not really up for being on my own for a bit he’ll...consider it, we’ll talk and if it’s me just being clingy we work it out. If it’s something else then he stays. It’s all in how we talk to each other.” Vic glanced at Cullen then back to his drink.

“Aren’t you lonely?” he countered.

Cullen blinked and took another drink.” Yes,” he admitted. 

“Well, should you decide to change that, even for a night my offer was genuine.” Vic said before he took another pull of his drink.

“I don’t know if I can,” Cullen admitted. “With you and Zevran and Fenris, things are already complicated. Where would I stand?” 

“The door would be open if you wished, occasional companionship if you like. This would be after I check in with Fenris of course, he is my spouse. Zev and I are mostly off, very rarely on bed-mates. Unless of course you had your eye on him?” Vic said lightly.

“I… I don’t know what I want,” Cullen replied honestly. 

Vic stared at him for a long moment before he left for his room. “Stay put I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Cullen’s eyebrows shot up in confusion, but he stayed where he was.

Vic slipped into the room to speak with Fenris, but found the elf morosely staring at the fireplace. “Love?”

“Leave me be Vic, I’m in a mood.” Fenris replied as he reached for his drink.

“Cullen and I are having a conversation I think you might want to be part of,” he said with a small smile.

“You’ve got permission to play, I gave you that awhile ago Vic when you told me you fancied a roll with him, unless you mean something else?” Fenris replied.

“I mean something else. I think he… I think he’s questioning himself and his part in the world. If anyone knows what that’s like, it’s you.” 

“Bring him in here, I’m comfortable.” Fenris said quietly.

“As you wish, be right back.” Vic replied before he pressed a soft kiss to his husband’s temple and fetched Cullen.

“Come on in, bring the drink with you. It’s nice and warm in here Cullen.” Vic said as he let the door swing open.

Cullen got up and walked inside, Hawke closing the door behind him. He took a seat and sipped at his drink, falling into silence. 

“I’m worried about you, Cullen,”Hawke said bluntly. “You’re fighting something inside you still.” 

Cullen flinched. “Maybe…” 

“There’s no maybe to it, it’s like looking in a damned mirror at times when I see you.” Fenris said from his spot. 

“How so?” Cullen asked defensively. 

“Calm yourself Cullen, no need to puff up like a cat at me.” Fenris said as he flipped his chair to join them. “You are fighting your urges, whatever they may be and the conflict is still eating you alive. Without the Inquisition having to go off and fight you have too much free time on your hands. With that free time comes time to think right? Thoughts you wish would just leave you alone, or tell me I’m wrong?”

“You’re not wrong.” Cullen couldn’t meet Fenris’ eyes and the understanding he saw there.

“Of course he’s not,” Hawke scoffed.

“Then talk to us, or me if you wish. I understand far better than you know.” Fenris offered.

“Do you?” Cullen gritted out. “Do you really understand the clawing need? Do you understand the desire for oblivion?”

“Yes.” Fenris replied before he came to stand before his friend. “Do you understand the need for darkness to embrace you Cullen? To wish it would end, to find relief and peace but instead find yourself mired in suffering? Tell me the truth.”

“Yes…” Cullen squeezed his eyes shut. “Maker help me. I’m supposed to be the one the others look up to, the success story.” 

“You’re only human, Cullen,” Hawke said gently. 

“You’re allowed to fail, you can’t be perfect none of us can, elves, humans...any of us.” Fenris tilted the other man’s face towards him and leaned in close enough to kiss the former templar. “Look at me while I speak.”

Cullen’s eyes opened. “But I’m a commander,” he protested. “I have duties and responsibilities to my troops, I can’t appear weak, especially when so many of them are emulating me and giving up lyrium.” 

“I have lyrium in my flesh,” Fenris said. “I can never get rid of it because it would kill me. My memory isn’t what it could be because of it and I know the hate of having it in your system, but the need for it at the same time. Do you think me weak?” 

“You didn’t ask for it,” Cullen started. 

“Oh, but I did. I asked for it and I keep it because I’m afraid of what will happen should I try and rid myself of it. I would not only be ridding myself of the lyrium, but the power that comes with it. You were stronger than me and let go of all of that, embraced the emotional and physical pain, let go of your power. Don’t belittle yourself for doing what so many others could not.” Fenris took a step back.

“Cullen, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, take that and embrace it. I’m many things but ...strong, at least in the heart? I’m not. What is it you wish of us? Hawke’s embrace, mine? Friendship or simply someone who gets it to be with you for a while? No matter what it is, we are your friends.” Fenris said quietly.

Cullen abruptly stood up. “I thank you for your words, but I must be going.” 

Hawke frowned. “Now wait a minute...” 

“Cullen, sit down.” Fenris said as he put his hands out to hold him there.

Cullen pressed his lips together but did as he was asked. 

“Why were you going to run?” Fenris asked as he took a fresh drink from Hawke and passed another to the Commander.

“I don’t know what i want from any of you,” Cullen said evenly. “I don’t even know what I want from myself most of the time.” 

“You are safe with us, even if it’s to simply sit with your uncertainty for a while it’s fine Cullen.” Fenris took his seat again and took a long sip of his drink.

“Is it?” Cullen asked. 

“It is,” Hawke answered. 

“Yes, if you want a nap, or to drink and cry yourself sick with us, do it. Believe me, Hawke has seen the absolute worst of me and is still here. We would do no less.” Fenris replied.

“Especially since I’m sure I’m part of the past stress you had to endure.” Hawke gave Cullen a wink.

Cullen laughed softly. “No… I told you before that if I had only listened to you, maybe things wouldn’t have gone the way they had in Kirkwall.” 

“Water under the bridge Cullen, let it go.” Fenris said softly as he curled up in his chair and resumed pondering the fireplace.

“It was easier to let things go when I was taking lyrium. It would help me forget Kirkwall and… and what happened during the Blight.” Cullen down the rest of his drink in one go.

“What did happen during the Blight?” Hawke asked carefully.

“I failed my charges,” Cullen answered flatly. 

“Thus you take your duty with the Inquisition so much to heart?” Fenris asked.

Cullen’s head jerked in a nod. “And in Kirkwall. I… Do either of you know what happened to the Ferelden Circle during the Blight?” 

Hawke shrugged. “Only a little bit.” 

“I’d not heard, the Blight isn’t something that is really discussed here, nor taught to slaves. If you wish to tell us, we’ll hear you.” Fenris said.

“During…” Cullen sucked in a slow, fortifying breath. “No… I have to start earlier. I’ve always taken my duty very seriously. I wasn’t a cruel templar, but I wasn’t lax either. Being a templar was something I sought, something I wanted and had to beg my parents to release me to when I was young. During the Blight, several blood mages took over the tower, releasing abominations, demons, and torturing the mages who resisted and the templars who they saw as jailers. I wanted the tower purged, to cleanse it from every mage that was there, guilty or not.

“When the Hero of Ferelden came and freed the tower, I begged them to listen to me, to tell the Knight-Commander to purge the place. They refused, telling me that some of the mages still alive were innocent.” 

Cullen clenched his hand into a fist. “But I knew then what I know now, it was better to kill them than to let one of those blood mages free. I…” He swallowed. “I must sound cruel to you. But what they did to me… I was one of the first captured, tortured for days, and I… I transferred to Kirkwall shortly after, only to see another rise of blood magic and demons. That’s why I believed in Meredith so much. She was doing something about it, or at least I thought she was. 

“The lyrium helped me to forget, to block out some of what I had endured and the choices I had made. Now… Now it’s all I think about.” 

Hawke had gone still, the blood drawn from his face as he looked away from Cullen. He’d been just like him, hatred of the power in his veins fueling the same fury against those like him.

Fenris simply got to his feet so he could sit closer to Cullen, offer comfort if need be. He glanced over to Vic, who shook his head and took over the elf’s seat.

“I hate myself sometimes,” Cullen said under his breath. “It makes it hard to think anyone else couldn’t.” 

“I know that feeling all too well,” Hawke said quietly. 

“I think we all know that feeling, Cullen, I still get it when I think about all I’ve done or failed to do in my life. It can consume you if you aren’t careful.” Fenris said with a squeeze to the other man’s shoulder.

“If you think about all the horror in your life, you will freeze and not move forward,” Hawke said in a sudden show of insight. “What happened to you was terrible, but look at all you have done since then.” 

Cullen smiled softly to himself. “Maybe you’re right.” 

“We are, just accept that from us.” Fenris said with a smile.

“Just like that?” Cullen asked. 

Hawke nodded. “Just like that.” 

“Yes, it will make it better trust us.” Fenris finished off his drink and refilled his glass. “I should probably slow down, but...I am in a mood.”

Hawke arched an eyebrow. “When aren’t you?” he said with a smile. 

“Not like that Hawke.” Fenris replied quietly. “Well like that but in an odd way.” 

Cullen reached over and poured himself another drink, downing half of it in one go. “I used to fool around with the other boys in my barracks when I was younger,” he suddenly blurted out.

“That’s no surprise.” Hawke said with a shrug.

“Frankly I’d have been surprised if you hadn’t,” Fenris added.

“I’ve been confused about a lot of things lately,” Cullen pushed on.

“If we can help with that…” Fenris replied with a glance to Hawke before he took another sip of his drink.

Cullen finished his drink and poured himself another. “Yes…” 

Fenris sat his drink down before he took Cullen’s from his hand, took a sip and slipped onto the other man’s lap.

“Let him kiss you Cullen, or at least give you back your whiskey.” Hawke said from his corner seat.

“I…” Cullen glanced from one man to the other before he turned and crushed his lips to Fenris’.

The elf slipped his hand into the blond human’s hair and tugged slightly so he could catch his breath. He took another sip of whiskey before he resumed their kiss. He nearly choked when he felt Cullen get up supporting him with just an arm under his ass.

“I can leave if you wish…” Hawke started to say before he had to dodge Cullen’s tunic as it was tossed at him. “Or I can stay since you seem to have forgotten I was here.”

Cullen didn’t say anything as he worried as Fenris’ neck. His tongue hit a lyrium line and he froze, halfway to lowering Fenris on the bed.

The elven warrior felt Cullen tense up and turned his head slightly to look at him. “Cullen, stay with me...you can avoid touching it, I’m...more sensitive to touch where there’s none of it on me. Please?”

Hawke was halfway out of his chair as he saw how the other man had stilled. “You alright?”

Cullen could still feel the slight tingle on his tongue, and a growing urge inside him. He closed his eyes and took a few, deep breaths. “I’ll be fine,” he said slowly.

“Are you sure?” Fenris asked as he tried not to tense up and make Cullen drop him.

Cullen answered with a deep, slow kiss, his teeth scraping slightly against Fenris’ lips.

The elf responded by moaning in Cullen’s mouth as he writhed against the former templar. He opened his eyes when he finally landed on the bed to stare at him. “Should have kissed you sooner.”

“Maybe,”Cullen whispered, his voice deepening from desire. He slotted himself between Fenris’ thighs and rolled his hips, pressing against the erection he could feel just beneath the elf’s breeches. 

“Hnng, stop teasing me ...please.” Fenris rasped as he rolled against Cullen. He glanced over to see Hawke had undone his pants while he watched them. 

“I’m not the tease,” Cullen answered. “You, Hawke, and Zevran have been teasing me for weeks…” He slipped his hands around Fenris’ wrists and pinned them above his head.

Hawke froze as he waited to see what his husband would do. He knew that the elf wasn’t always into being topped, unless it was by Zevran.

Fenris clenched his fists a couple of times as he considered the blond that had him pinned. He finally smiled and bucked up against Cullen with a low rumble.

Their lips met again for a languid kiss. They took their time exploring each other’s mouths, tongues slipping over each other. Cullen’s erection became almost painful beneath his breeches. It had been so long since he’d been with anyone.

Hawke had relaxed in his seat, slowly stroking himself as he watched them together. He smiled as he heard Fenris ask for Cullen to do something with him and stop the slow torture with his tongue.

“I could kiss you like this forever,” Cullen murmured against Fenris’ lips. His eyes slid closed and he lost himself in that kiss, the press and release of their lips, catching Fenris’ needy groans.

“I…” Fenris started to say but lost his words when Cullen leaned in for another kiss. He closed his eyes as he felt the other man’s grip on his wrists relax finally. He didn’t move but let the blond keep contact.

Cullen let go of one of Fenris’ wrists and began to slip his fingers under the hem of the elf’s tunic, pushing it up his chest. He very carefully tried to avoid touching any lyrium, even with his hands.

Fenris watched him as he was so cautious, and remained still while he was partially disrobed. “I can take it off if you wish.” 

“No, I want to do this. I need to do this,” Cullen insisted. The lyrium shimmered faintly blue and silver under the candlelight and for a moment, Cullen let himself take it all in. “This is a fortune of lyrium. I…” He shook his head sharply and bent down to place a kiss near Fenris’ navel.

“You’re stronger than this Cullen...Stanton.” Fenris hissed as he felt the other man’s tongue trailing down towards his cock. “Vic...you ok?” he moaned.

“Yeah, fine love...just enjoying you both. Call if you need me.” Hawke said as he kicked his pants off and remembered to lock the door finally. “Carry on.”

Cullen undid the laces on Fenris’ breeches, opening the flap like a present. Fenris’ cock sprang free and for a moment, Cullen just stared at it, as if he had never seen one before. 

“It’s been a long time since I…” He swallowed slowly. “Since I’ve done this.” 

“Take your time, or if you want I can start, show you how it’s done.” Fenris said as he stared at Cullen.

“No I… I want to do this.” He leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the tip of Fenris’ cock before his tongue snaked out and lapped at the head.

“As you wish…” Fenris replied before he sucked in his breath. “Good...just like that.” 

Cullen closed his eyes and let himself just feel the elf, to hear his moans to tell him if he was doing things properly. He wrapped his hand around the base and parted his lips, taking Fenris halfway down, it was as far as he was able to go.

Hawke was quiet as he watched them, unwilling to interfere and make Cullen regret his decision.

Fenris tried to keep himself from grabbing Cullen’s hair and forcing him to take him all the way down. “Yes...yes, just...there, good.” 

Fenris’ taste dripped over Cullen’s tongue and the commander groaned in approval. He took to it like he did any task he had been assigned--with studious efficiency, giving it his all.

“Good...fuck, oh…” Fenris groaned as he arched his back when Cullen sucked a bit harder. “Maker...I fear...no darkness.” he moaned.

Cullen shivered at that. There was something almost depraved at hearing the Chant at this moment, something dark and sinful that tripped parts of Cullen he hadn’t quite known he had. He cradled Fenris’ balls with his free hand, rolling them gently in time with his lips. 

“I ...will not falter.” Fenris breathed as he opened his eyes to look at his bed-mate. “Cullen…” 

Cullen lifted his head and glanced up through half lidded eyes. “Don’t stop,” he rasped. 

“Oh...Maker hear my cry!” Fenris gasped with each slow bob of Cullen’s head.

It was almost as if Cullen was back in the barracks as a young templar recruit, trying to be quiet while under the blankets with his bunkmate while the Chant intoned through the halls. He hadn’t thought of those times in years, or more, he had been thinking of them only recently and little else.

“Blessed are ...are, oh fuck…” Fenris did falter with Cullen’s next hard pull on his cock. He turned to see Hawke had almost gone still watching and listening to them. His attention was brought back to his partner when he felt fingers digging into his hip. “I...fuck ...fuck me.”

Cullen pulled away from Fenris with a lewd pop and rose over him, his arms braced on either side of Fenris’ head. “Is that what you want?” he asked, his voice a husky murmur.

“Yeah...whisper filthy things in my ear while you take me, give me the benediction of your flesh.” Fenris leaned up to nip at Cullen’s neck and throat. “Please…”

Cullen faltered for a moment. “What do I… What do I do to…” 

That got Fenris to sit up and give Cullen a very long stare. “Have you never taken another man?” When the former templar shook his head no, the elf beckoned his husband over. 

“Time for a hands on lesson for our friend then love?” Hawke asked quietly.

“I… I don’t want to hurt you.” Cullen rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“Alright, just watch and learn from Vic then you can have a turn. Or let him guide you, so it’s good for all of us ok?” Fenris gave him a gentle smile before he laid back and reached out to Hawke.

“We’ve got you, just let me tell you what to do. Just like riding a horse, sort of.” Vic said as he rummaged in his pack for oil. 

Fenris snorted at the image that popped in his head and waved away the blond man’s confusion. “I’m being odd, ignore me.”

Cullen was embarrassed. He was an adult for Maker’s sake, yet he felt like a bumbling teen. He got up from the bed and unlaced his breeches, pulling them and his smalls down his legs until he stood naked before them. He had scars from various battles over the years, and a particularly nasty one from when he had been held by blood mages in the Circle Tower. 

“You’re cuter when you blush, come here.” Fenris said as he went to the edge of the bed and pulled Cullen to him. He looked up and gave the other fighter a filthy smile. “Recite the Canticle of Benedictions for me.” 

Cullen could recite them in his sleep--had recited them in his sleep. But now he found he had to think a moment before he could recall the first line. He followed Fenris down to the bed, murmuring in his ear. “Blessed are those who stand before the corrupt and wicked and do not falter.” 

Fenris took Cullen in his mouth in one smooth motion, his head bobbing slowly with each word the former templar recited.

Hawke nearly dropped the vial of oil at the sound Cullen made as he felt the elven fighter’s mouth on him.

Cullen’s head dropped back on a groan and his voice faltered. “Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow.” 

Fenris hummed on the next downstroke before he pulled back to stare at Cullen…”So...good. Such a good boy Cullen” he purred before resuming his sucking.

“I’ve died and I’m with the Maker, that’s the only way this is real.” Hawke said as he sat on the bed to watch them.

“In their… In their blood the Maker’s will is… is written,” Cullen stammered as pleasure swamped him, his heart pounding in his ears.

Fenris couldn’t help what happened next since his brands had lit up like a feast day bonfire as he enjoyed Cullen. 

Cullen’s eyes snapped open wide, filled with the light of lyrium and the Maker--at least, that was what they had been told when he had been a templar. Energy boomed out from him, the smite knocking into Hawke, cutting him off from his magic. 

Vic fell off the bed with a rather indignant squawk which he’d deny making. “Oh...what in the Void was that?” 

Fenris pulled away faster than Cullen would have liked as he rolled over to check on his husband. “Vic?”

Cullen look down at his hands with eyes that still were bright with unnatural light. “Maker, my enemies are abundant.” 

“Not here they’re not.” Fenris said as he helped Vic back up to the bed. 

“He fucking hit me with Smite, not on purpose but still.” Vic moaned.

“Cullen! Stand down, now!” Fenris barked.

“Many are those who rise up against me,” Cullen intoned.

“What’s happening?” Invictus said in a rush.

“My lyrium, probably hit him hard since he’s been off it so long. I couldn’t help them activating so...this happened.” Fenris pressed two fingers to the other man’s forehead to Silence him, hopeful it would work. “Forgive me”

“But my faith sustains me, I--” Cullen’s words stopped in his throat and the light went out in his eyes.

“Cullen, look at me and tell me who you are, what’s going on here.” Fenris said softly. 

Invictus stretched out on his back and groaned in discomfort. “Haven't been hit with one of those in years, it still hurts by the way.” 

Cullen’s eyebrows drew down sharply. “What… What happened?” 

“You used smite on me and now I feel like shit,” Invictus growled. 

“Love… easy.” Fenris said as he kept Cullen’s gaze on him. “I lit up and well, you reacted strongly. I’ve never seen you do that even in Kirkwall.” 

“I felt so…” Cullen glanced back down at his trembling hands. “I felt so full of the Maker’s light. I’ve touched it before, but never…” 

He reached out to Hawke. “I’m so sorry. I lost myself.” 

Vic waved him away with a grunt. “It’s fine, just give me a little bit to make the room stop spinning.” 

Cullen nodded and stepped back. “I think I should go.” 

“No, come and talk to us.” Fenris held his hand out to Cullen, sure to have his brands dimmed.

Cullen reached out to take it, by stopped at the last minute. He didn’t trust himself anymore. He sat on the bed, grabbing a pillow to cover himself with.

Vic snarled under his breath but pulled Cullen gently to them. “Come on you mabari, let’s just talk yeah?”

Cullen laid back on the bed and threw his arm over his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he said again, as if he had to apologize over and over. 

“It’s alright Cullen.” Fenris replied.

“Is it?” Cullen asked, pulling his arm away. “I lost control. I’ve never lost control like that.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m a little sore but it’s ok.” Vic added as he cuddled up next to Cullen on the left while Fenris took the right. 

Cullen glanced from one man to the other. “Both of you should be furious with me,” he said in confusion.

“You say that like neither of us has done what you did. I’ve hurt Vic by mistake with my lyrium or worse, my anger. He’s done the same to me. You are human Cullen, and we know you didn’t mean it.” Fenris reassured him.

Cullen gave him a weak smile. “Thank you.” But it lacked conviction. Cullen had never felt anything like that before and it frightened him. He prided himself on his self control. It had served him well as a good templar when others abuse their charges and it had saved him when he quit taking his lyrium.

“You’re worried and you are tense as a damned cat in a room full of hungry mabari. We all lose control Cull, let it go for now. Enjoy the warmth and when we get a bit of a nap, we’ll pick up where we left off. Maybe you can take me for a ride while Fenris watches?” Vic said with a sleepy grin.

“I…” That snapped Cullen out of it and a deep red flush began to spread up his neck.

“You know you want to, it’s where we were headed before I lit up like a tree.” Fenris muttered. “Don’t blame yourself, I know that I am the worst sort of temptation and I apologize Cullen.”

“It’s not your doing,” Cullen assured him. “It’s mine. This demon will always be riding me.” 

“I could be a different demon riding you.” Fenris said cheekily until he saw the look on the other man’s face. “Bad joke, sorry.”

Cullen stared at him for a moment before he suddenly snorted in laughter. “Bad joke, but funny. I don’t understand what any of you see in me.” 

“Years of wearing that heavy plate and swinging a sword have given you a nice body. Despite what you think of yourself you’re funny, and when you smile you make me swoon.” Vic said as he tried to get closer to Cullen and not fall off the bed.

“Am I now?” Cullen asked, the flush finally reaching his face.

“Yes, accept our compliments for what they are Cullen.” Fenris mumbled as he tried to get comfortable.

“Maybe I will,” Cullen mused. He rolled over to his side and pressed his lips gently to Fenris’.

“That’s more like it.” Fenris said before he leaned in for another round of kissing.

Cullen felt himself stirring against Fenris’ thigh. “No Chant of Light,” he muttered.

“Yes ser, no Chant.” Fenris agreed before he rolled on top of Cullen.

“Maker you two are like teenagers, I’m going to get a bite to eat, enjoy yourselves.” Vic said before he kissed both of them and threw on a robe.

Cullen reached out and snagged Hawke’s wrist. “Stay…” 

“Sure about that?” Vic asked.

“Yeah, stay love.” Fenris added before he started to worry Cullen’s neck again

“If I’ve decided to wallow in debauchery, then I want you here with me while I do it,” Cullen rasped.

“Fair enough” Vic said as he let himself be pulled back to bed. “Now, where were we?”

“You were going to show me how to… how to give Fenris what the wants,” Cullen finished lamely. 

“Ah yeah, since he’s already on top let him lead while I get him nice and ready.” Vic replied as he watched Fenris get comfortable as he scooted forward to kiss Cullen while Vic opened him up.

Cullen slipped his fingers through Fenris’ hair, pulling his head closer, angling the kiss deeper. His tongue sent teasing flicks over Fenris’ lips and teeth, passing moans back and forth.

Hawke slicked his fingers and nudged Fenris forward just a bit so he could work his husband open. “How many do you want?” he asked.

“Hnn, three...four. I can...take it.” Fenris gasped when he felt Hawke slide a third finger inside.

Cullen’s eyes widened slightly at Fenris’ words, but that was before they latched onto the expression of pleasure that had begun to suffuse the elf’s face. He couldn’t stop looking at him, smoothing his hair back so he could take it all in.

The warrior’s eyes opened at the feel of a fourth finger then they fluttered closed as he moaned. “Hawke...Vic…” he whined.

“You’re so beautiful,” Cullen murmured to Fenris. He smoothed his hair off his forehead. “Did you know that?” 

“Not...really.” Fenris moaned before he reached back to stop Vic. “Enough...I’ll come if you don’t stop.”

Cullen’s eyebrows drew down sharply. “You are. You--” He bit off the rest of what he was going to say on a moan. Hawke’s fingers had wrapped around his erection and was guiding Cullen to Fenris.

Fenris grinned as he slid down until he was resting against Cullen’s hips. “So much better...you?”

Cullen’s hands spasmed in pleasure on either side of Fenris’ head. “Maker… I had no idea,” he moaned. 

“That it could be this good?” Fenris purred as he started to rise up slow and easy. He leaned in as he lowered himself down, a wicked smile as he watched Cullen’s face.

Cullen’s trembling hands slipped over Fenris’ shoulders, down his back, and finally rested on his ass. He couldn’t stop watching the elf as pleasure swamped them.

“Talk to me, I wanna hear how it feels.” Fenris asked as he braced himself to start riding Cullen faster and harder.

Hawke had settled in a nearby chair, ravenous as he watched them together.

“So tight,” Cullen moaned. “So…” He speared his fingers through Fenris’ hair again. “So damned beautiful.” 

Fenris leaned down to kiss Cullen quiet, and not hear that from him. He didn’t want to ruin the moment with his own problems. He pulled back after a while so he could put his back into riding the former templar. 

Cullen couldn’t keep his hands off of Fenris, running them over his body, his fingers purposefully skipping over the lyrium that made his mouth water if he thought about them for too long. At one point, he braced his feet on the bed, bending his legs at the knee and thrust up experimentally. 

“Yes! Again.” Fenris gasped as he nearly lost his balance

Cullen thrust up, burying himself inside Fenris before pulling almost all the way back out again. He loved the way his cock was squeezed as he dragged it out, the tight, oiled flesh rubbing against his cock in all the right ways. 

The elven fighter called out as he was filled repeatedly with each thrust of Cullen’s hips. “Maker...oh yes, yes...Hawke...Vic…” Fenris moaned.

“Can’t talk...a bit busy love.” Invictus answered breathily.

Cullen’s eyes latched onto the bobbing, leaking erection that slapped against his stomach with every hard thrust. He wrapped the fingers of one of his hands around it, letting it slip through a tight fist with each rut into Fenris.

Fenris whimpered as he fought to keep his brands dimmed while he bounced on Cullen’s cock. “Maker...oh, oh fuck, oh fuck...close, so close.” 

Cullen wanted to think he would be the sort to have lasted longer, but it had been a while since he had been with anyone, let alone a man with Fenris’ enthusiasm. His head snapped back pressing into the sheets, his eyes staring unseeing at the ceiling as he came, gritting out a low moan through clenched teeth. He pushed Fenris down on him tightly, filling the elf, when he heard Fenris’ cry of pleasure. Warm spunk dripped out with each pulse of Fenris’ cock against his fingers, coating Cullen’s hand.

He heard Hawke moan loudly and turned his head just in time to see the mage climax in his hand, his hips churning to draw out his orgasm, writhing into it. 

Fenris leaned down and rested against Cullen for a while, panting as he tried to keep from falling down. “Better?”

Cullen opened his mouth a few times, found he couldn’t speak, and settled for jerking his head in a sharp nod.

“Good boy, once we rest, let Vic have a go at you yeah?” Fenris moaned into Cullen’s mouth as he wriggled against the blond, a pleased rumble at how good he felt.

“Again?” Cullen asked weakly. “I…” He glanced over at Invictus.

“Oh yes, again.” Vic said as he wiggled his eyebrows at the other man. 

“Was I… Was I okay?” Cullen asked hesitantly. 

Fenris sat back and stared at the man under him. “Yes, that was far more than ok Cullen. I really enjoyed this.”

“I’m glad,” Cullen said with a boyish smile. “Thank you for… for all of this.” 

“You’re welcome, it was a good time. Now relax I’ll get us cleaned up.” Vic said as he got a basin, warmed the water just a bit as he felt his power returning. He was quiet as he cleaned them off, then crawled into the bed with both men. “I’m lucky, two handsome, strapping men in bed with me tonight.”

Cullen wanted to ask them if they did this often, but then he remembered Zevran. Besides, in the end it didn’t matter how often they brought another person to their bed.

Thinking of Zevran led his thoughts to Meneris and the reason they were in Minrathous. He got up and went to find his breeches and smalls. “I should check on Meneris.” 

“Cullen Stanton Rutherford, get back in this bed.” Fenris said with a glare at the other man.

“Meneris is a big boy, he’ll be fine. Besides you probably smell like you’ve been fucking and that won’t go over well with him missing Dorian. Get some damn sleep.” Vic groused.

“He’s been through a lot,” Cullen said as he pulled his smalls on. “I’ll be back. I just want to make sure he’s okay and that the rooms are locked tight first.” 

“Oh for fucks sake…” Fenris muttered as he watched Cullen get partially dressed.

“I’m here to protect the Inquisitor, let me do my duty for a moment and I’ll be back, I swear.” Cullen leaned down and pressed a small kiss to Fenris’ lips.

“As you will then. You might wind up on the edge if we’re asleep.” Hawke mumbled as he cuddled up with his husband.

“As you will then,” Cullen repeated with a small laugh. He snatched up his tunic and went to the door, slipping it on.

**

Meneris was in a foul mood, his expression dour as he stared at the fireplace. He’d heard them having...fun while he was separated from his lover, in a place where he could be killed any moment and his damned Mark was bothering him as an added, unwanted bonus. 

There was a knock on the door before Cullen’s muffled voice reached him. “Inquisitor?”

“Enter.” Meneris called out as he got a fresh bottle of wine to start on.

The door opened and Cullen stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was the two empty wine bottles on the floor and the third new one in his hand. “Ser… Should you really be having that?” 

“You do not get to monitor my consumption, it’s been a hard fucking day and I’m angry, hurting and alone. Let me have this much, Commander.” Meneris growled.

Cullen braced himself. “I agree, It was only a question and you have given me your answer. But speaking as someone who has not always coped as he should with things, maybe you should stop, get some sleep instead.” 

“Don’t do this Cullen. Go back to _them_ and finish enjoying yourself. Leave me be.” Meneris replied shakily before he set the bottle aside, covered his eyes and tried to get himself together.

“We’ve hurt you,” Cullen surmised. “I’m sorry, Inquisitor.” 

“This whole fucking trip has hurt me, you shouldn’t be alone. Just leave me be Cullen...I beg you to let me fall apart in peace.” Meneris’ voice cracked slightly as he turned away from his friend.

“No. No you wouldn’t let me, so I am here for you. I was selfish in leaving you alone as I did. Let me go and fetch the rest of my things, I’ll be right back.” Cullen turned and hurried back to Hawke and Fenris’ room.

Fenris sat up, Hawke was already deeply asleep next to him. “Lock the door when you come to bed.” he mumbled

“I won’t be. I’ve come to fetch my boots and tell you I’m sorry,” Cullen said in a soft whisper.

“How bad is it?” asked the elf instead of flaring up in rage.

“Bad,” Cullen said evasively. “I shouldn’t have left him alone for so long. Not after what’s happened.” He found his boots and began to yank them on.

“I’m sorry we kept you from your duty. Do you want help?” Fenris asked softly.

“No, I’ll be fine, but thank you.” When he straightened, Cullen gave Fenris a large smile. “For everything.” 

“Welcome, if it gets worse I’ll come and help alright?” Fenris got up to lock the door behind Cullen, and wonder how bad Meneris was going to be in the morning.

**  
Cullen had taken a moment to stop by his room and to wash up before changing his clothes. He did it quickly with a routine he had perfected from a lifetime of having to get ready for the day swiftly. 

He gave Meneris’ door a knock before he opened it again. “Meneris?” 

“What?” came the slurred reply.

Cullen strode over to the elf and pulled the now half empty bottle from his fingers. “You’ve had enough. You should get some sleep.” He pulled him to his feet.

Meneris snarled as he pulled away. “I don’t want to sleep...it’s worse when I dream.” 

“Why?” Cullen asked carefully. He reached for Meneris again.

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” Meneris snapped as he started to go towards the bed. “Be glad my room is in a far, far tower when it gets bad.”

“Let me help you,” Cullen all but pleaded. It hurt him to see Meneris like this, and hurt even more to know he had aided in that pain.

“How will you help me Cullen? How?” Meneris spat as sat against the headboard, clutched a pillow to his chest and tried to ignore the pounding in his head.

“This accursed mark hurts more often than not, my lover is playing a dangerous game here, and he could very well be killed trying to protect me. That idiot walked right into the viper’s nest and for what? To destroy himself and us?” the elf snarled.

“He was foolish,” Cullen agreed. “And we need to make a decision. Do we snatch him up and take him and you from here or do we stay and help him in his cause?” 

“I don’t know right now, I’m more in favor of wringing his fool neck.” Meneris huffed. “Why won’t you just let me be alone? I’m not good company now Cullen.”

“Are any of us?” Cullen asked bluntly. “All of us are a mess most of the time, even me.” He gave Meneris a wry smile. “Maybe that’s what helps pull us all together, because we understand in ways others can’t.” 

“Stop...I don’t want to be coddled or given some damn pep talk. I want to be home, in Skyhold with Dorian next to me. I want to fucking kill every Venatori I can get my hands on.” Meneris replied as he got up to retrieve the wine.

“You don’t wish for me to coddle you or couch my words?” Cullen asked carefully. 

“When have I ever wanted that from you? It’s never stilled your tongue before, so out with it.” Meneris said before taking a long swig of wine.

“I think that you need to decide if Dorian is worth fighting for,” Cullen said bluntly. “If not, then we will leave this place and figure out how to get his emotions out of you, leave Tevinter to whatever fate decides. But if you think he’s worth fighting for then we stay and do what must be done. Fighting for him means fighting for his causes, and right now he wants to free his country.” 

Cullen gestured to the wine. “Do you think drinking yourself into a stupor is going to get any of that accomplished?” He spoke to Meneris the way he would to any of his men.

The elven leader glared at Cullen, unsure if he wanted to hit him or not for voicing what had been racing around in his head for the past hours. “We came all this way to get him, and I’m no quitter. We saved the fucking world when pressed, it’s time I fight for my right to be happy.” he said as he sat the wine aside. 

“You’re brutal Cullen, anyone tell you that? Sure you didn’t sharpen your wit on the field along with your sword?” Meneris asked roughly.

Cullen’s lips twitched in amusement. “Years of commanding men will do that to you. They might not love me, but they do respect me.” 

“Speaking of that, go back to Fenris and Hawke. You deserve to be happy, not babysitting my miserable ass.” Meneris gave him a tight smile, and passed him the fourth, unopened bottle he’d sat by the bed.

Cullen shook his head. “No, not tonight. You shouldn’t be alone. Let’s get some sleep and talk again about our plans in the morning.” 

“I...fine.” Meneris relented as he pulled his tunic off and crawled into bed. “Come on then, just don’t drool on me.”

“I’ll take the chair.” Cullen went to the overstuffed chair by the fire and sat down. He leaned over to take off his boots. 

“Get in this damned bed, if you’re going to invade my space at least keep me warm.” Meneris said with a raised eyebrow. “Besides, you’ll be crabby if you sleep in a chair.”

“Crabby? I’m never crabby,” Cullen said in mock affront. He relented and got up to crawl into bed next to Meneris. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t shared a bed with anyone before. 

“I’ve seen you before your first cup of tea, don’t tell me you don’t get crabby. Go to sleep Cullen,” Meneris pinched the candle to snuff it and fell silent.

**

A few days later, the group found themselves in the common room, pooling their information and trying to come up with a plan that wouldn’t get them all killed. 

“We find their den, then Fenris and I go in and slash their throats.” Zevran shrugged. “End of Venatori, yes?” 

“No. They’re like a hydra, cut one head off and several more sprout from the stump,” Cullen said. 

“Not the end but we cripple them. For all we know the damned Archon could be one of them. For now, we get who we can, get Dorian free and get back to Ferelden.” Fenris replied.

“The problem is Meneris and I are too well known to just stroll into the Senate. I can glamour myself but that’s ridiculous to cloak myself among other mages. They’ll know something's up. So we will be on operation rescue Dorian.” Vic said.

“Pavus won’t go easily,” Cullen warned. “He loves his country and has risked a lot in order to help save it and Meneris. I say we find his contact in the revolution first.” 

“That’s easy enough done.” Zevran said with conviction. “But how much do we want to involve ourselves with them more than we already will?” 

“We’re already here Zev, might as well get the job done and help Thedas, not just Tevinter. It was...it’s my home too.” Fenris replied.

“That it is,” Zevran said with a smile. “I will find her and bring her here.” 

“Are we really going to take on the Venatori like this?” Hawke asked. 

“Yes,” Cullen answered immediately. 

“Then you get the contact, Hawke you make plans to get Dorian back here and Cullen we need to have a word.” Fenris said as he looked to the blond

Cullen raised an eyebrow, but he nodded. 

Zevran rose to his feet and gave them all a low bow before he left, his hands already on his daggers in an unconscious move to check they were where they needed to be. 

Once they were all gone, Fenris turned to Cullen with a hurt expression. “Why have you avoided me?”

“I..” Cullen was taken aback. “I haven’t been. We’ve spoken multiple times over the past few days.” He knew that wasn’t completely true. They had spoken about many things, except for the one thing Cullen had been avoiding.

“Don’t play with me, you know exactly what I mean. A cordial good morning, pass me toast isn’t what I’m discussing here.” Fenris said 

“I…” Cullen stammered again. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m not sure what to say or how to act around you and Hawke. Do I pretend it didn’t happen? Do I try and insert myself in your relationship? None of my encounters have lasted very long. There was never time. Duty always came first and I’m not sure how to...” 

“You act like usual, you ask to join us if the mood strikes. Don’t ...I thought you had a nice time with us?” Fenris said as he looked down, slightly ashamed at how he was acting. “I’m...sorry, I shouldn’t do this to you.”

“I did, and this is my fault, for not knowing how all of this works. I tend to retreat to duty when I’m unsure about things. My duty I know and I know it well.”

“I...I am acting as a child, I apologize for cornering you. Just know you are welcome to return to us. Zevran as well since he was most put out that we had fun without him.” Fenris said with a hint of a smile.

Cullen’s face turned a bright red and he laughed. “Well we can’t have him be put out, can we?” 

“Wait until you have a turn with him, he’s far more...energetic when he’s getting what he wants.” Fenris gave him a smile before he approached Cullen for a kiss. “Are we alright? Can I have a kiss?”

Cullen cupped Fenris’ jaw in his hand and leaned down to give him a slow, gentle kiss. “You frighten me,” he whispered. 

That brought the elf up short as he looked up to Cullen. “I don’t mean to, forgive me. What can I do to fix that?”

“Nothing,” Cullen said with a small laugh. “You’re beautiful, smart, strong, and you want me. These things frighten me in ways I have a hard time explaining.” 

“Not beautiful… _he_ used to say that of me as I was his possession. I, please don’t say that outside the bedchamber. In there, I can cope with it, sometimes.” Fenris looked away before he lost his composure. 

Cullen’s hand fell away. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” 

“Not your fault, it’s one of the few things that still get to me about that time in my life. You can call me beautiful as much as you want when I ride you again.” Fenris replied before he pulled Cullen down for another kiss. “Come on, there’s work to do.”

“Duty first,” Cullen said wryly.

“You would know, curly.” Fenris winked at him before he headed off to get Zevran and get their plan in motion.

“That name will never die,” Cullen groaned.


End file.
